When love is lost, sometimes the most comforting thing to do is read breakup quotes. To have expressed so well the feelings you are having can help you to come to grips with your own emotions. Other times, it's just really nice to know that you aren't the only person who has felt heartbreak after a relationship ends. This can also be encouraging as well, as you read the thoughts of people who have broken up, survived it, and have moved on. Understanding the nature of love and breakups won't take the pain away, especially if you were rudely dumped, but they can help you to realize that your feelings have been shared by others.
Recognize what wasn't working for you
So let me ask you. Are you spending a lot of time thinking about all the ways you screwed up in your relationship with your boyfriend, but all the ways he was great?
Do you keep rehashing an argument, wondering if things would have been better if you said or did something different from the beginning with him, feeling guilty or bad that things moved “too fast” between you (and it scared him away)? Do you daydream about all the ways he was special, and how you’ll never find anyone who understands you quite the same way he did?
Romanticizing or re-hashing the past is a pretty common thing many women do when they break up with a man. Big mistake. Don’t do this to yourself. This is 100% sure to only make you feel more awful, not to mention that it keeps you from focusing on what’s most important to you right now.
And that is learning how to get what you want and how to have the kind of relationship you deserve in the future. When you focus on your ex too much, and you spend your time “pining away” for a relationship, you miss out on a very important lesson.
You stop seeing all the ways that the relationship made life a roller cotter for you.You don’t realize all the ways he wasn’t right for you or made you feel less than your true self. You don’t learn what it is your really want and need from a relationship in order to be fulfilled. Let’s face it, you were led down some very negative emotional paths by this guy, weren’t you?
So, instead of thinking only of the “good times” and how much you miss him, consider all the things he did and said that made you feel insecure, anxious or frustrated feelings that one way or another probably contributed to the end of the relationship.
What can you learn about yourself, love and men from the things that drove you two apart, so that you’re sure to have a more intimate, loving and evolved relationship next time around.
Don’t repeat those same mistakes in your next relationship.If you’re starting to realize now that even if you love a man, you don’t really understand what it is that makes a relationship actually work and last with one…
Or you don’t understand what you’re doing in the relationship that’s causing him to withdraw or lose interest in you, you’ll just keep bringing those same issues into future relationships.
Then I want to show you: What defines a “good”, mature guy to begin with, so you don’t keep picking men who just aren’t ready for a real relationship in the first place .What makes a man feel inspired to be completely devoted to you from day 1, both emotionally and sexually .What a man needs in order to feel that he’s in love with you and that a relationship is “working” in his mind .
Go here to know what a truly honest and mature looks and sounds like, what inspires him to see you as the only woman for him. and how to make it effortless to want to be with you.
Stop losing yourself in relationships
You probably gave up a lot to be with your guy. You gave up time with your friends and family. You gave up doing things you used to love doing things like reading, exercising, going on hikes, visiting art shows,whatever.
You gave it up in order to spend time with him. You gave it up to make him feel comfortable. You gave things up because the relationship seemed important, and you wanted it to work. Sure, I get it. Many women feel like they need to give things up to keep a man happy and attracted.
But if you’re using that excuse to: Stay emotionally attached to him, because you feel that you can’t “get over him” easily since you gave up so much .Feel too depressed to go out with your friends or get back to the things that used to make you feel alive and happy.Refuse to “get back out there” and date someone new. Then guess what you’re doing?
Yep, that’s right. You’re still giving up more of you and your happiness for his sake. Even though he’s out of your life. Have weeks, months or years have gone by, and you’re still in the same “sacrificing” place, putting your life on hold instead of realizing your own needs?
Snap out of it! You are actually continuing the very thing that helped break your relationship apart, and made you feel unhappy and unfulfilled. Stop the cycle of only finding that your relationships are about you and your partner turning on each other and breaking each other down.
It’s time you learned how to receives and to get the true love and devotion you deserve from a man. And yes, by you changing the way you go about your relationship you can make this change happen in the man you’re with, or in the kind of man you attract.
Don’t wait for the right relationship to “happen to you”, when you have the power to make it happen for yourself and feel 100% confident about where your love and relationship is headed. Let what you do from here forward in relationships start giving back and feeding you inside and out. forever.
Be ready for love when it finds you
When you end a relationship that felt like it had a lot of “promise” and connection, it’s hard to believe you’ll ever find love again, at least in quite the same way. You might even vow not to date again for a long time, because you just don’t want to get hurt again. It can feel pretty safe to live inside the little “bubble” you make for yourself, just working on your career, spending time with friends, doing things that make you happy.
What do you need a man for anyway? Think.About it
You put yourself and your love life in a “holding pattern” because you don’t want to let another man in or get close. You don’t want to be vulnerable. What’s the point, if all that’s going to happen is that you’ll end up feeling more of the same, bad feelings you’re trying to get over now – right?
Actually, no. I don’t agree. Because if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize that you don’t want to shut yourself off from what can be the opportunity for an amazing, life-long experience. That one great guy you’re meant to be with could be out there right now. Unless you create the “space” for him in your life, you won’t be ready for love when it finds you.
Ok, you may feel pretty in-control and safe right now, but are you living? If you’re not taking a risk, are you risking never feeling the love and connection that could transform your life someday?
Nod your head right now if you feel even a grimmer of truth in what I’m saying. And here’s another common thing I hear from women who aren’t ready to date again. “There’s no good men out there for me anyway. The ones I’m attracted to aren’t attracted to me. Or they’re taken.” I can see how you may feel that way if you’re not sure how you’re going to attract the right guy, or the type of guy you’re into.
Plus, your recent experience with men has been, well, less than great. Like when a guy comes on strong at first, then suddenly tells you he’s “not ready” for anything serious, or isn’t “into” monogamy or commitment.No wonder you’d rather stick a twig in your eye than date again anytime soon.
Yeah, I get it. Alright, but what if I told you that you that I can help you learn exactly how to identify and attract the right guy, and give you an “edge” that you’ve never had before in dating?
Would it change the way you think and feel about men if you knew exactly how to get a man close and connected to you and keep him wanting you and only you, without games, manipulation or “tricks” of any kind whatsoever?
You can experience the kind of love you’ve always wanted in your life, regardless of what kinds of bad experiences you’ve had before. You’ll attract quality men because they will “sense” that you are the type of woman they’re looking to have something special with.
You’ll learn exactly what kinds of words and behavior magnetically draw a man to you, and what repels a man from ever wanting anything past the “physical” with you, so you can avoid making those mistakes and losing a guy after getting intimate with him.
Here’s the truth about attraction: It’s not about being a great beauty, or about seducing a man into having feelings for you. Actually, it’s about something deeper and morelong-lasting. And the best part is, that once a man feels this level of attraction for you, almost nothing can keep him away from wanting to be with you. I hope you take these steps and find the love you really deserve.And let me know how it worked for you.
I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Are you having a hard time getting past a recent break-up?
Are you having a hard time getting past a recent break-up? Are you confused by a guy who says one thing, but does another? If so, it's likely that you're constantly asking yourself, "What is he thinking?!" This can be a huge trap for you as a woman. If you're thrown off and upset by the mixed signals your boyfriend is sending you about how attracted or committed he is to you, then ask yourself one question: What will it take to close this gap in understanding between you and your man? I will show you what men are really thinking and going through when they've done that predictably frustrating thing of saying that they love you but they're not acting like it anymore.
It's time you end your confusion by getting the real tools and answers you need to create the kind of relationship you want with a man. Men seem to act like they could take it or leave it in relationships. But if you know what a man is really looking for and what drives him wild, it's likely that you could experience that ongoing and intense attraction and devotion from your man that only a few women seem to have.
Maybe you were dating for a while and you thought things were pretty amazing, but he wasn't so sure. Or maybe you were the one who decided it was better to end things. But now you find yourself wondering if that was really the right move, because you're having trouble moving on.
Are you're still trying to figure out how to get him back, or show him that you're really "the one" for him?
You text him, or call him, and maybe agreed to "still be friends" and hang out once in a while. But nothing seems to make you feel better. In fact, the more you talk to him or see him, the worse you feel. Still, you can't imagine not talking to him at all because you still have some very intense feelings that just aren't going away anytime soon.
In any case, you're feeling pretty "stuck" right now, and you don't know what to do about it.If that's true, then stick around and keep reading, because in this email I'm going to give you three powerful remedies for getting past a break-up and getting your love life back on track.
These remedies will fast-track you through feeling better and getting past all the confusion of your break-up. Take a few minutes to read and really think about each step, and then commit to follow through on each one.You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel.
Check on this post:Quick Break-Up Fixes & Remedies....
I will talk to ya again soon. Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
It's time you end your confusion by getting the real tools and answers you need to create the kind of relationship you want with a man. Men seem to act like they could take it or leave it in relationships. But if you know what a man is really looking for and what drives him wild, it's likely that you could experience that ongoing and intense attraction and devotion from your man that only a few women seem to have.
Maybe you were dating for a while and you thought things were pretty amazing, but he wasn't so sure. Or maybe you were the one who decided it was better to end things. But now you find yourself wondering if that was really the right move, because you're having trouble moving on.
Are you're still trying to figure out how to get him back, or show him that you're really "the one" for him?
You text him, or call him, and maybe agreed to "still be friends" and hang out once in a while. But nothing seems to make you feel better. In fact, the more you talk to him or see him, the worse you feel. Still, you can't imagine not talking to him at all because you still have some very intense feelings that just aren't going away anytime soon.
In any case, you're feeling pretty "stuck" right now, and you don't know what to do about it.If that's true, then stick around and keep reading, because in this email I'm going to give you three powerful remedies for getting past a break-up and getting your love life back on track.
These remedies will fast-track you through feeling better and getting past all the confusion of your break-up. Take a few minutes to read and really think about each step, and then commit to follow through on each one.You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel.
Check on this post:Quick Break-Up Fixes & Remedies....
I will talk to ya again soon. Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
The one I love may have fallen out off love with me
This is an e-mail from a reader."I have been dating him for 7 months, we met through church friends, and he told me from the start god has changed his life, (and himself) that the old him was a horrid person. Before dating him I did not think soul mates existed but after falling for him I really do believe he is the one. And 1 month into the relationship he got called to work 4 hours away from this city, But despite it all he still drove 3 hours every weekend back here just to see me. Through it all he got really depressed and anxious working away from family, Then when he left this job early to come back to our city, he told me his old self was coming back brought on by the depression and anxiety."
"He has only just come back from this place 4 hours away. And things slowly started going downhill. I was starting to get depressed and he was starting to treat me less and less like he loves me. It was hurting, but I figured "hey he might just need some time to think" because he was just stressed before with me being depressed. But then over the phone I also brought up something else. That he is acting like he dose not love me. And then he told me that he has grown apart from me so there for he dose not know if he loves me anymore."
"He then mentioned how he told me his old self is coming back and that he has in the past just over night fallen out off love with previous girl friends. I Don't know what is wrong with him. Has he got a fear off commitment? is it the anxiety, and depression playing up on him? Because As I said to him over the phone you can leave now like all the others but how will you ever solve this problem? His relationships never last over a month especially in my case, our relationship lasted 6 mouths. He told me over the phone a few hours ago. That he feels cold and distant. numb tactfully."
"I really wanna know whats wrong with him. And if there is a way for us to fix this problem. I mean how does someone just fall out off love with someone after telling them they changed your life in a positive way, and that they mean the world to you."
Do you have some meaningful advice for this reader, please let me know by leaving your valuable comments here.
I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
"He has only just come back from this place 4 hours away. And things slowly started going downhill. I was starting to get depressed and he was starting to treat me less and less like he loves me. It was hurting, but I figured "hey he might just need some time to think" because he was just stressed before with me being depressed. But then over the phone I also brought up something else. That he is acting like he dose not love me. And then he told me that he has grown apart from me so there for he dose not know if he loves me anymore."
"He then mentioned how he told me his old self is coming back and that he has in the past just over night fallen out off love with previous girl friends. I Don't know what is wrong with him. Has he got a fear off commitment? is it the anxiety, and depression playing up on him? Because As I said to him over the phone you can leave now like all the others but how will you ever solve this problem? His relationships never last over a month especially in my case, our relationship lasted 6 mouths. He told me over the phone a few hours ago. That he feels cold and distant. numb tactfully."
"I really wanna know whats wrong with him. And if there is a way for us to fix this problem. I mean how does someone just fall out off love with someone after telling them they changed your life in a positive way, and that they mean the world to you."
Do you have some meaningful advice for this reader, please let me know by leaving your valuable comments here.
I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Single Again After A Break-Up What Now?
What does it mean exactly when a guy says he wants his freedom? You'll be dating a guy for a few weeks or months and even though things seemed to have been going great, he suddenly drops one of these lines on you:
"I need some space." "I don't want to give up my freedom." "I don't want to be tied down right now."
So what is he talking about? It's not as if you're keeping him from living his
life or getting in his way.
The truth is, some women will make a man feel like he has freedom to pursue his dreams because of their own sense of freedom and independence, and some women will "drag" a guy down because of their neediness and insecurity.
Men will also prefer to "date" instead of settling into a more serious and committed relationship because:
1. Dating is a no-brainer for him.
2. Dating is where the attraction and fun is, in his mind.
3. He's just not feeling that you're "The One"
To learn the whole story about why men are afraid to "settle down" with one woman and what you can do and say to turn his thinking around so that he will be begging you for a commitment.
Are you ready for some quick "hands-on" tips about what really works with men, and what doesn't? Check it in my next MUST READ post....
P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life.
Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.
I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
"I need some space." "I don't want to give up my freedom." "I don't want to be tied down right now."
So what is he talking about? It's not as if you're keeping him from living his
life or getting in his way.
The truth is, some women will make a man feel like he has freedom to pursue his dreams because of their own sense of freedom and independence, and some women will "drag" a guy down because of their neediness and insecurity.
Men will also prefer to "date" instead of settling into a more serious and committed relationship because:
1. Dating is a no-brainer for him.
2. Dating is where the attraction and fun is, in his mind.
3. He's just not feeling that you're "The One"
To learn the whole story about why men are afraid to "settle down" with one woman and what you can do and say to turn his thinking around so that he will be begging you for a commitment.
Are you ready for some quick "hands-on" tips about what really works with men, and what doesn't? Check it in my next MUST READ post....
P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life.
Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.
I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
A Break In A Relationship Sometimes Saves It
Are you confused by a guy who says one thing, but does another? So you feel as if nothing is working out in your life or maybe some things are working out for you but your current relationship has executed a wrong turn and has failed to find the right road again. If you are frustrated in your relationship or with your partner you might want to consider taking a break.
Taking a break does not mean that you no longer love each other. A break does not mean that you will not resolve your issues within the relationship. A break is a common practice among people who are dating, live together or our married.
Taking a break can lead to a sense of relationship renewal and better communication between you and your partner. If you are unsatisfied with your relationship there are a few things to consider before you decide to take a break.
First of all you should sit down and ask yourself why you are unhappy in the relationship. Make a list of the characteristics you love about your partner. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. Was it because of common interests or because they were what you needed at the time?
All of us fall in love for different reasons. Next write down your partners characteristics that have been bothering you. See if there are any dangerous warning signs such as excessive alcohol use or a violent temper.
After you have made your list carefully consider your goals in life, your life plan and figure out how your current relationship fits into this plan. Also, take into consideration that your relationship stress may have nothing do to with the relationship itself.
You could be experiencing the pressure of financial stress or maybe you just faced a traumatic event or you feel overwhelmed in your life right now. Many times relationships suffer when external sources are negatively impacting us.
Figure out what is going on in your life and separate the external stress factors. After you have carefully thought all of this through it is time to sit down and talk with your partner.
It is only fair that you are honest with your partner about your feelings. Nothing can be resolved without clear communication. Both of you should engage in a serious discussion about your relationship and where it is going. Your partner may be just as unhappy as you are.
After all is said and done the two of you may decide to take a break. A relationship break is a healthy option that many couples benefit from. Sometimes it is necessary for people to take a break in order to figure out what they want or to view the relationship in a different light.
During a break make sure to talk with your partner, check and see how things are going and discuss what you want for the future. Many couples that get back together after a break find their relationship to be stronger.
Some of us forget why we fell in love or our life has become burdensome and we just need to take a break from everything. A relationship break is not the end of the world.
Sometimes a break is just the beginning as it leads to a more promising and fulfilling relationship in the future. A relationship break can cause us to realize that our partner is truly the love of our life.
P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life.
Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.
I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
Taking a break does not mean that you no longer love each other. A break does not mean that you will not resolve your issues within the relationship. A break is a common practice among people who are dating, live together or our married.
Taking a break can lead to a sense of relationship renewal and better communication between you and your partner. If you are unsatisfied with your relationship there are a few things to consider before you decide to take a break.
First of all you should sit down and ask yourself why you are unhappy in the relationship. Make a list of the characteristics you love about your partner. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. Was it because of common interests or because they were what you needed at the time?
All of us fall in love for different reasons. Next write down your partners characteristics that have been bothering you. See if there are any dangerous warning signs such as excessive alcohol use or a violent temper.
After you have made your list carefully consider your goals in life, your life plan and figure out how your current relationship fits into this plan. Also, take into consideration that your relationship stress may have nothing do to with the relationship itself.
You could be experiencing the pressure of financial stress or maybe you just faced a traumatic event or you feel overwhelmed in your life right now. Many times relationships suffer when external sources are negatively impacting us.
Figure out what is going on in your life and separate the external stress factors. After you have carefully thought all of this through it is time to sit down and talk with your partner.
It is only fair that you are honest with your partner about your feelings. Nothing can be resolved without clear communication. Both of you should engage in a serious discussion about your relationship and where it is going. Your partner may be just as unhappy as you are.
After all is said and done the two of you may decide to take a break. A relationship break is a healthy option that many couples benefit from. Sometimes it is necessary for people to take a break in order to figure out what they want or to view the relationship in a different light.
During a break make sure to talk with your partner, check and see how things are going and discuss what you want for the future. Many couples that get back together after a break find their relationship to be stronger.
Some of us forget why we fell in love or our life has become burdensome and we just need to take a break from everything. A relationship break is not the end of the world.
Sometimes a break is just the beginning as it leads to a more promising and fulfilling relationship in the future. A relationship break can cause us to realize that our partner is truly the love of our life.
P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life.
Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.
I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Why on Earth would Woman opt to stay in a disrespectful, fearful relationship?
Yes, I'm sure you do love him - at least the 'good side' of him. But what else is there to your love? Does he not make you feel embarrassed by his control and power over you by his direct disrespect for you? Even if it was 'love' you felt for him and not the flattery of 'his needing you' the funny thing that you don't realize is that you can love someone and not be with them. It is sooooo possible.
Of course leaving is a very difficult thing to do. The only time we really consider it is in the very throes of the abuse the moment when we would leave barefoot and naked in the middle of a blizzard if need be. But then things calm down for a moment in time. The promises and remorse starts.
The logic starts running through your head. Then the excuses - the fear, "Why leave? He'll just hunt me down and kill me." Doubtful. He may threaten, because threats have proven to be so successful in controlling you in the past. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Call the police.
You can relocate, you can get protection, you can 'call him' on his suicide threat. Take my word for it, he won't start systematically 'knocking off members of your family' until you return to him. Gee! "I can't leave him. I'm the only one that understands him. I feel so sorry for him. He really doesn't want to be this way." You feel sorry for him? You mean like you feel sorry for those little, innocent children dying in the hospital? Like you feel for the parents who are watching them die? THAT'S something to feel sorry about.
Not an adult man who opts to revisit his pain over and over again, heaping it all on you, instead of being brave enough to face it head-on and take direct responsibility for it.
Not someone who can charmingly smile and say good-bye to house guests, then turn around and punch you the minute they pull out of the driveway. Part of this man's hook is his 'childlike hurt'. "Life is so good when he isn't abusing, I couldn't ask for a better man." Couldn't you?
Yes, the hardest thing you may ever have to do is to find the courage to leave. You can leave, and you can make it on your own. Your situation isn't any different than many others you may think it is special, but it's not. Just look at mine no car, no driver's license, no money, no help from anyone, four kids, systemic lupus, emphysema, and MS.If someone in your situation can do it then most assuredly, you can, too.
And stop thinking that if you somehow 'change' the abuse will stop. You mean that if you can go through the rest of your 'one-and-only' life without ever burning a meal again, that everything will be honky-dory? You don't really believe that, do you? You don't need to change he does.
You can have the very best man and have the most wonderful marriage without the high cost. Believe me!
Whether emotional, verbal, mental, physical, or a combination of all - abuse wears you down. You go from a happy, care-free woman (remember those days before him) to days of consuming feelings of resentment, anger, depression and growing insecurity. When you look into the mirror you see a shell of a person, with no life left in their eyes.
Go right now and look in the mirror you'll be surprised to see the 'life' is no longer there. You are empty. Hollow. This relationship is not making you a 'whole' person, it is making you a 'worthless of a woman'.Is that what you prefer in your love life?
P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life. Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.
I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
Of course leaving is a very difficult thing to do. The only time we really consider it is in the very throes of the abuse the moment when we would leave barefoot and naked in the middle of a blizzard if need be. But then things calm down for a moment in time. The promises and remorse starts.
The logic starts running through your head. Then the excuses - the fear, "Why leave? He'll just hunt me down and kill me." Doubtful. He may threaten, because threats have proven to be so successful in controlling you in the past. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Call the police.
You can relocate, you can get protection, you can 'call him' on his suicide threat. Take my word for it, he won't start systematically 'knocking off members of your family' until you return to him. Gee! "I can't leave him. I'm the only one that understands him. I feel so sorry for him. He really doesn't want to be this way." You feel sorry for him? You mean like you feel sorry for those little, innocent children dying in the hospital? Like you feel for the parents who are watching them die? THAT'S something to feel sorry about.
Not an adult man who opts to revisit his pain over and over again, heaping it all on you, instead of being brave enough to face it head-on and take direct responsibility for it.
Not someone who can charmingly smile and say good-bye to house guests, then turn around and punch you the minute they pull out of the driveway. Part of this man's hook is his 'childlike hurt'. "Life is so good when he isn't abusing, I couldn't ask for a better man." Couldn't you?
Yes, the hardest thing you may ever have to do is to find the courage to leave. You can leave, and you can make it on your own. Your situation isn't any different than many others you may think it is special, but it's not. Just look at mine no car, no driver's license, no money, no help from anyone, four kids, systemic lupus, emphysema, and MS.If someone in your situation can do it then most assuredly, you can, too.
And stop thinking that if you somehow 'change' the abuse will stop. You mean that if you can go through the rest of your 'one-and-only' life without ever burning a meal again, that everything will be honky-dory? You don't really believe that, do you? You don't need to change he does.
You can have the very best man and have the most wonderful marriage without the high cost. Believe me!
Whether emotional, verbal, mental, physical, or a combination of all - abuse wears you down. You go from a happy, care-free woman (remember those days before him) to days of consuming feelings of resentment, anger, depression and growing insecurity. When you look into the mirror you see a shell of a person, with no life left in their eyes.
Go right now and look in the mirror you'll be surprised to see the 'life' is no longer there. You are empty. Hollow. This relationship is not making you a 'whole' person, it is making you a 'worthless of a woman'.Is that what you prefer in your love life?
P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life. Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.
I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
How Women "Love" To Be Abused In "Not Working Relationships"
You as Woman,the thing you must know about your life is that you have choices. You have options. You have rights. You are not a belonging, you are not ruled by emotions, you are ruled by common sense. However,after enduring abuse we tend to disregard our common sense and logical thoughts - and let our emotions rule our life. This is the trap that keeps you hooked.
Yet,there is hope.There is promise to a better life and a freedom above and beyond emotional and psychological imprisonment.When power,control,and violence become the prevalent modes of resolving conflicts, abuse takes place.
If you are the victim of abuse any kind of abuse you should face the facts that you can't see while caught in the 'trap' of abuse you are not responsible. The abuser may take out his rage on you, but do not make the common mistake of taking 'ownership' over their rage. It is not yours, it is theirs.
Give it back to them and stop playing God! And remember, what is upsetting to the abuser goes deeper and beyond what you see. No, it isn't about how you cooked dinner, or that you forget to pick up the dry cleaning, or that the man in the corner of the restaurant 'looked' at you. You are just the doorway he needs to vent. By placing blame at your feet he is doing one of two things.
1). He is attempting to control you.
2). He is attempting to turn his own shame outward by directing it onto others rather you.
This abolishes him from the inner turmoil and self-doubts that rage through his veins.
Well,you ask,'what about therapy?' What about it?! Therapy doesn't work in most cases. In fact, therapy is usually sought by the abuser simply as another means to 'control' you. They have absolutely no intention of seeking help, because they have absolutely no intention of doing anything - but keeping you.
The sad truth is, abusers very rarely, if ever, stop their abusive ways. They swear they will, they promise anything. But usually all this means is the next time the abuse will be worse - because the next time they know that you may just leave them this time, after this 'last' and 'final' break of their promise.
Fact - get out.
Fiction - things can change if you just love them harder and try to get to the root of the problem.
Fact - you can not get them help. You can only get you help.
But how many times have you heard this? You are like the teenager who has grown up with the repeated advice that drugs are bad yet continue to try them out anyway.
Why? Could facts, experience, proof, and life's little instruction book only apply to other people? Are you special? Different? Is your abuser special and different from other abusers? Don't kid yourself! Drugs kill. Abusers kill. Those are the cold-hard facts and ...yes ...they do apply to you.
It is up to you to take the action required to remove yourself, and your children if applicable, from any abusive situation. That is the only way possible to help the abuser. As long as you are there the atmosphere is unhealthy, the abuse escalates, the abuser becomes more aware of having a 'problem', the abuser denies responsibility for 'the problem',the abuser redirects the problem onto you. The abuser has no need to change.
Do not believe the abuser when he claims the abuse is your fault. Never! And let's just say for the sake of saying that it is your fault. That you are a loser, a bad housewife, ignorant, stupid, forgetful, worthless, inconsiderate ,whatever does that justify abuse?
NO! If my 11-year-old cousin was mentally handicapped would I be justified in abusing him? NO! My dog is not very intelligent and he chewed my slipper. Can I beat the dog? NO! Abuse is never justified. Never called for. Never excused. Never reasoned away.
Abuse is abuse. Part of our rights as a human is to demand respect and to give respect in return. Physically, emotionally, verbally, or mentally abusive behavior demonstrates the highest level of disrespect. This is the man who loves you sooo much, but is just 'confused'? Quit kidding yourself. That's not love.
That is an ill, sick person who clings to you with desperation one minute, and pulls you by the hair out onto the front lawn the next. Wake up!
More on the same in my next post...
P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life. Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.
I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
Yet,there is hope.There is promise to a better life and a freedom above and beyond emotional and psychological imprisonment.When power,control,and violence become the prevalent modes of resolving conflicts, abuse takes place.
If you are the victim of abuse any kind of abuse you should face the facts that you can't see while caught in the 'trap' of abuse you are not responsible. The abuser may take out his rage on you, but do not make the common mistake of taking 'ownership' over their rage. It is not yours, it is theirs.
Give it back to them and stop playing God! And remember, what is upsetting to the abuser goes deeper and beyond what you see. No, it isn't about how you cooked dinner, or that you forget to pick up the dry cleaning, or that the man in the corner of the restaurant 'looked' at you. You are just the doorway he needs to vent. By placing blame at your feet he is doing one of two things.
1). He is attempting to control you.
2). He is attempting to turn his own shame outward by directing it onto others rather you.
This abolishes him from the inner turmoil and self-doubts that rage through his veins.
Well,you ask,'what about therapy?' What about it?! Therapy doesn't work in most cases. In fact, therapy is usually sought by the abuser simply as another means to 'control' you. They have absolutely no intention of seeking help, because they have absolutely no intention of doing anything - but keeping you.
The sad truth is, abusers very rarely, if ever, stop their abusive ways. They swear they will, they promise anything. But usually all this means is the next time the abuse will be worse - because the next time they know that you may just leave them this time, after this 'last' and 'final' break of their promise.
Fact - get out.
Fiction - things can change if you just love them harder and try to get to the root of the problem.
Fact - you can not get them help. You can only get you help.
But how many times have you heard this? You are like the teenager who has grown up with the repeated advice that drugs are bad yet continue to try them out anyway.
Why? Could facts, experience, proof, and life's little instruction book only apply to other people? Are you special? Different? Is your abuser special and different from other abusers? Don't kid yourself! Drugs kill. Abusers kill. Those are the cold-hard facts and ...yes ...they do apply to you.
It is up to you to take the action required to remove yourself, and your children if applicable, from any abusive situation. That is the only way possible to help the abuser. As long as you are there the atmosphere is unhealthy, the abuse escalates, the abuser becomes more aware of having a 'problem', the abuser denies responsibility for 'the problem',the abuser redirects the problem onto you. The abuser has no need to change.
Do not believe the abuser when he claims the abuse is your fault. Never! And let's just say for the sake of saying that it is your fault. That you are a loser, a bad housewife, ignorant, stupid, forgetful, worthless, inconsiderate ,whatever does that justify abuse?
NO! If my 11-year-old cousin was mentally handicapped would I be justified in abusing him? NO! My dog is not very intelligent and he chewed my slipper. Can I beat the dog? NO! Abuse is never justified. Never called for. Never excused. Never reasoned away.
Abuse is abuse. Part of our rights as a human is to demand respect and to give respect in return. Physically, emotionally, verbally, or mentally abusive behavior demonstrates the highest level of disrespect. This is the man who loves you sooo much, but is just 'confused'? Quit kidding yourself. That's not love.
That is an ill, sick person who clings to you with desperation one minute, and pulls you by the hair out onto the front lawn the next. Wake up!
More on the same in my next post...
P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life. Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.
I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)