How to Captivate a Man, Make Him Fall in Love with You and Give You The World!

When it comes to your relationships with men, which of the following do you find yourself saying? "Why didn't he call?" "How can I find the right man?"Why do I always date losers?"Why doesn't he love me anymore? "What am I doing wrong?

"Why do some women have great relationships with men and mine are always dull, unfulfilling and boring? "If only I could understand men...." 

The secret to understanding men and using it to your advantage is as follows.The important thing to remember is that you're not alone. Most women whether single or married have asked themselves these kinds of questions. The reason women have these concerns is because they simply don't understand men. 

Did you know ... that you as a woman, by virtue of your femininity, have in your hands the delicious power to make a man fall in love with you, influence a man to your way of thinking, bring him to his knees, make him want to spend his life with you and want to fulfill your every desire? 

Yes, it's true! And the best part is that you can do it easily and effortlessly by being yourself and not shaping yourself into someone you're not just to keep your man interested. I'll give you solid proof of this in a moment and use that understanding to create and sustain a loving relationship, and become a woman that a man loves, cherishes, and never want to part with. 

I will talk to ya again soon. 

Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone. 

Best of luck in love and life!

How to Be the Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave

Have you ever met the kind of woman,that men fall hopelessly in love with,women with whom men want to spend all their time
whom men want to please and do anything for  who brings out the romantic and passionate side of a man; and  to whom men want to give everything?

What special quality, trait, or personality does this woman have that attracts men like a magnet, makes men powerless in her hands, and makes them want to spend their lives with her?

The startling observation I've made:These women are not necessarily the most beautiful, the tallest, the smartest, the one with the most gorgeous hair, sexy legs or the most ample breasts, as one might think!
 
These kinds of women know the secret to creating magic with men.And how to use their five senses and how and where to apply them effectively including the sixth one of cause common sense(which is not common to all women in this case). And here's the good news for you  if you're like most women who struggle with relationship challenges. The ability to create magic with men is not really magic at all. It’s a skill which can be learned by any woman  and that includes you!

 
I will talk to ya again soon.  
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone. 
Best of luck in love and life!

Why Do Most Women Struggle in Their Relationships with Men?

There are many reasons why women have relationship challenges, but as I mentioned before, the main reason is that women simply don't understand men. If a woman really understood men, she'd know how to effortlessly attract men like a magnet, make men powerless in her hands, have them treat her like a queen, and give her everything her heart desires.

The main obstacle women face in their effort to understand men is that they turn to all the wrong things: They seek advice from their girlfriends, who are just as clueless as they are in figuring men out; and they read dime-store relationship advice from women's magazines.

If you're like most women, you probably love talking to your girlfriends about your relationship troubles, and -- yikes! -- asking them for relationship advice. Unless your girlfriend happens to be a professional relationship advisor, who has counseled many couples towards successful relationships -- and unless she herself has a successful relationship with a man (very important!) -- it's unwise to take relationship advice from your girlfriend (or your mother, sister, cousin or aunt, for that matter).

By all means, seek the listening ear of a girlfriend if you simply want to unburden -- and if talking to your girlfriend makes you feel better. But always remember that talking to your girlfriends (as depicted accurately in the once-popular Sex and the City TV series),or(in Desperate House Wives) fosters deeper and better friendships with your girlfriends -- but does nothing to improve your relationships with men.

Now, don't get me wrong. Some of your girlfriends might indeed have the wisdom to give you good advice -- but that advice will almost always be based only on their own limited experience and observation. Just because your girlfriend has had an experience similar to yours doesn't mean her advice applies to your situation.

I chuckle every time I remember the story of a woman who spent hours on the phone with her girlfriend discussing why her boyfriend was giving her the silent treatment, and what she might have done to provoke it, and what she could do to get him talking again. All the while, her boyfriend was just not in a talkative mood because he was worrying that the carburetor in his car wasn't working right!

 
I will talk to ya again soon.  
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone. 
Best of luck in love and life!

Everything You Ever Learned About How to Attract and Keep a Man is Wrong!

There's another insidious thing masquerading as relationship advice for women and that is, women's magazines. Women's magazines teach women how to look, be and act around men and only serve to impress other women, propagate poor self-image, and show women how to "hook" a man by being everything but themselves. 

Sadly, most of the relationship tips that women's magazines give were written by women for women and they don't enable women to understand men at all.

What if I told you that you could make a man adore you just by being yourself?

Yes, you don't have to be anything but yourself. There's just one condition. You also have to understand what a man wants.

I will talk to ya again soon.  
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone. 
Best of luck in love and life!

Will Giving a Man What He Wants Get You What You Want?

Here's the big secret. Men want to be enraptured by a woman. They may not admit it openly, but they want to be lured, finessed, bewitched, possessed and seduced by a woman -- and they don't mind surrendering to her siren maneuverings and be rendered powerless by her. A man would gladly give anything to the woman who can make him feel good.

Unfortunately, most women simply don't know how to make a man feel good. Believe it or not, the majority of women have the mistaken notion that learning a few sexual tricks and bedroom stunts from Cosmo and the Kama Sutra, or cooking him sumptuous meals "better than Mama ever made" ought to do the trick  and their man would stay devoted to them forever.

That's an outdated mode of thinking derived from the old wives' tale that says "The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach"  or his crotch, in most instances. If that were true, then sex therapists, prostitutes and professional chefs would have the best marriages, wouldn't they?  There's so much more to making a man feel good than meets the eye.
 
Seduction is sure mental sorcery:While a woman's sexual skills and good cooking are always appreciated by men, seduction is sure mental sorcery.
 
So how much is all this worth to you?If you're a single woman, what is the value of becoming totally irresistible to men, attracting the man of your dreams, making him fall in love with you, marry you and give you everything your heart desires?

If you're a married woman, how would your life improve when you reignite the spark in your marriage, make your husband fall in love with you all over again, enjoy deeper intimacy with him, and have an enduring marriage?

What is the value of not wasting any more time trying to figure men out, and read them like a book instead or having the ability to easily diffuse quarrels, arguments, and other relationship troubles as they occur, and be able to effortlessly influence your man to your way of thinking?

What price can you put on learning to become a woman that men adore and never want to leave?

 
I will talk to ya again soon.  
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!

Why Men Withdraw from Relationships After Honeymoon?

When someone we care about rejects our efforts to become closer to them, it’s not a fun feeling.But an even worse feeling than that is not knowing why? You meet a guy. You go out. It's clear that you like each other, and you begin to open up more and more. Then, out of nowhere, he withdraws. Sound familiar?

Does this scenario sound familiar? You meet a guy. You go out. It’s clear that you like each other, and you begin to open up more and more. Things get increasingly serious, and you make yourself emotionally vulnerable.

You feel like the relationship is progressing. Then, out of nowhere, he withdraws. You can feel it in the way he treats you, in the length of time it takes him to return your calls, in the excuses he’s using, in the difference in his touch. He’s withdrawing.

Pretty soon, you find yourself unsure about how to respond. You want more from the relationship, but you’re nervous about asking for it, because you don’t want to push him even further away, making him withdraw even more. You’re not alone. This is an old story that many people--both men and women--have been through.

There are any number of reasons why a man withdraws, and most of these can be categorized under three main headings. Let’s talk about these reasons a man pulls away, and how you can respond if he does. 

 He’s Lost Interest

This is pretty much the worst-case scenario for your relationship: when your man withdraws because he’s become disenchanted with how things are going between you two. Maybe he’s found some fundamental incompatibilities between you, or maybe he’s simply decided that you aren’t exactly what he’s looking for. He might have even met someone else who has captured his interest.

Whatever the specific reason, if your man is withdrawing because he’s doubting the future of your relationship, you probably ought to begin to face the fact that this may not be your one, true, love. We’re not saying it’s impossible for a guy to overcome his doubts about you or the relationship once they crop up. But usually, once those doubts become so strong that it makes him pull away and become distant, it’s often too late to salvage something strong and long-lasting.
 
He feels Rushed

This scenario isn’t nearly as bad as the first one. Yes, it has the potential to doom the relationship. But there are steps you can take to turn things around.

Your man may be withdrawing because he feels like you’re pressuring him to move the relationship along more quickly than he’s comfortable with. If this is the case, there’s a clear and obvious step you need to take: back off. Give him space, and allow things to progress at a speed that’s more comfortable for him. You might even think about directly communicating with him, and explaining that you didn’t mean to put pressure on him, and that you’re happy to allow things to progress more slowly. Offering space won’t always turn things around, but it often will.

We know it’s hard, when you really like someone, to pull back instead of rushing forward with everything you feel in your heart. But if your man is withdrawing because he’s feeling rushed, then you have to let things calm down and create the opportunity for the relationship to develop at a pace that feels good for both of you. (And keep in mind, playing hard-to-get is a tried and true strategy that’s been effective for centuries!)

He’s afraid of commitment

This third reason a man withdraws is likely the most hopeful one for you. Your man may be withdrawing based on fear. Maybe he’s been hurt in the past. Or maybe the idea of commitment simply petrifies him.

The good news is that whatever fear is motivating your significant other to pull away from you, it can often be overcome. If you two can discuss whatever the issue is and begin to deal with it, there’s a good chance that you can then begin to create something real and lasting together.

Yes, there’s a chance that he’s simply unwilling – or unable – at this point to move forward towards a committed relationship. But often, fears crop up in a relationship because a person wants to deal with those doubts and move past them. 

If you can be a steady, reassuring partner that isn’t pushing too hard, while he deals with what’s scaring him, you two just might build a foundation together that will lead to years and years of happiness.

I will talk to ya again soon. Keep on Dating!  
There is someone out there for everyone. 
Best of luck in love and life!

Why Men Pull Away After First Date With You?

Why Men Pull Away After First Date With You but move on with others in relationship?

It's a frustrating idea for many women, but you've seen it happen time and again. A man meets a woman, and they start dating. The relationship grows deeper fairly quickly until it culminates in the bedroom.

But just as everything seems to be going incredibly well, the man abruptly starts being distant as soon as the woman discusses getting into a deeper relationship. 

The relationship then dwindles into nothingness, leaving the woman feeling bitter and betrayed. Have you ever slept with a great man, only to watch him pull away once you start talking about deeper emotions? You may be tempted to think that all men simply have only one thing on their minds when it comes to dating.

Well, it's hardly that simple - the way men think can be just as complex as yours. The big differences lie in men's different approach to love and how they view it.

#1). Men are in the dating scene for the challenge. There's a reason why men are so fond of vigorous sports, violent movies, and fast-paced video games - they like the thrill of being faced with a challenge, of rising to the occasion, of overcoming the odds, and finally revel in the joy of victory.

It doesn't matter if the victory is lonesome or quiet or strange - the feeling of accomplishment reinforces the notion that he is, in fact, a winner.

So when it comes to dating, men are out to look for a challenge - they're looking to rock a woman's world. And at the same time, they want their women to be completely taken by their "manliness."

I know what you're thinking - if this is what men want after all, then why do they seem to not want it anymore once you've completely fallen for him, even to the point that you've consented to have sex with him?

#2). Men love the chase. When you start to show him that you're virtually all about him, it gives him the idea that he's already won you over. The victory is his. The challenge is over. The chase is finished.

So what's a man to do? He'll feel the need to find another challenge to pursue. And if you talk to him about committing to a more serious relationship, you're effectively asking him to give up looking for challenges - and that idea scares him to death. That is why men pull away after sleeping with you.Now here's the good news.

#3). My third point is that you can control him. Men love the chase because they like feeling the attraction to a woman. Just as he'd like to rock your world, he'd appreciate it just as much if you rocked his. That's what keeps men from pulling away - if he finds himself attracted to you, you can bet he'll stick around for much, much longer.

So how can you do this?To keep it simple, don't give yourself to him too quickly. By that, I mean don't sleep with him so early in the relationship. Use the time to make him feel attracted to you, because it's precisely this attraction that triggers his emotional desire to win you and be with you for a longer term.

If you can't make a man feel attracted to you, then no amount of talking, begging, or sex will change his mind.

 
I will talk to ya again soon. Keep on Dating!
There is someone out there for everyone. 
Best of luck in love and life!

Things Women Do That Drive Men Away

Many women, without even knowing it, are driving the men who love them right out of their lives. For the most part, women aren't getting information about men straight from the source. They're asking other women, listening to so-called relationship experts, and believing statistics. While those sources may be helpful and provide some information, nothing is as accurate as asking men what they think and feel. This list of ten things women do that drive men away was compiled from informal interviews with real everyday men. None of these men are "experts" from academia. None of them are sociologists, psychologists, or relationship experts. They're just regular guys: a computer technician, a personal fitness trainer, a mail courier, a college student, an entrepreneur, a corporate executive, a sanitation worker, a police officer, a mechanic, and an attorney.

When I got the guys together, the first question I asked was "What are some of the things women do that drive men away?" I asked them to be blunt and candid in their responses, but I made it clear that I wasn't looking for a list of mean-spirited complaints. Instead, I wanted to compile a list of ten things that men wished women knew. A list that would bridge the gap between men and women. I told them the purpose of this list was to improve communication, avoid misunderstanding, and expose any "taboo" issues that need to be brought into the open. In that spirit, we began our discussion. As I sat and talked with the guys, most of their answers kept coming back to the ten areas explained below.

Acting sweet to get a man,then changing 
"I don't know why women act so sweet during dating and change completely when they know they've got you."

She used to go to bed in a naughty nightie and didn't care about sweating the curls out of her head. Now she goes to bed with a head full of rollers and a face covered with Noxzema. When they were dating, she batted her eyes, spoke softly, and always looked sexy. But now that she's got him, that all changed. The gently batting eyes and shy smiles have been replaced with frowns, pursed lips, and shrill tones. No more sexy clothes. Now she dresses like she doesn't care what she looks like, every day is a bad hair day, and she's fast losing the curves in her body and developing a pleasantly plump figure.

Of course, men can't expect women to be superwomen who are able to work, cook, clean, and make love with flawless precision. But a woman shouldn't start out playing the superwoman role at the beginning and then change. It's better to present herself as she is and get it all out in the open. When a woman changes her entire act after the relationship gets going, men feel as though they've been duped. Suddenly, he doesn't know what to believe anymore and feels he can't really trust the woman he thought he knew.

Not giving enough space
"She clings to me because she thinks that every minute I'm not with her I'm fooling around." The "S" word must be used carefully. Some men intentionally abuse the term "I need my space" to ensure that they can have their cake and eat it too--fool around while not giving up what they already have. But not all men are that way. Most men simply just want some room to be by themselves. Men, just like women, need to feel that they aren't trapped or being held hostage in their lives. From time to time, men want to get away and be alone or hang out with their friends.

But it's a strain on the relationship when women think that a man is being selfish, silly, or making up an excuse to go out and cheat just because he wants some space. The smart woman knows that a man needs his space and doesn't hold it against him. She's confident enough to know that each person needs his/her own space to maintain a healthy relationship. On the other hand, jealous and possessive women are well known for their deliberate attempts to prevent a man from having any sort of privacy. Those are the women who think letting a man out of their sight is a mistake. They keep choke holds on their men and eventually drive them away. But if a woman can't give the man a little space, either the relationship isn't solid or she has some personal problems she needs to deal with. If it's because she can't trust him out of her sight, she doesn't need that man anyway.

 Wanting too many things
"I'm just a working man. I can't afford a two-story house in the suburbs, a Lexus, a Range Rover, a bunch of credit cards, and kids too." Some black men say black women are unrealistic in their expectations and want too much. Of course, wanting a good hardworking man who respects women isn't asking too much. But what about when it goes far beyond that? For some women, having a good man just isn't enough. They also want a Lexus, a two-story home in the suburbs, and a string of credit cards. When they don't have these things, they moan and complain as though life is terrible. If the man dares to say something about how he's happy with things as they are, he'll be accused of being complacent, lazy, and lacking ambition. It's fine to have goals and want some luxuries. But counting the blessings you already have never hurts either.

Not saying what she means
"Women expect you to read their minds like a psychic."

Men aren't very good mind readers. In fact, we often have difficulty just figuring out what women mean with the words they speak. I think women are far more sophisticated communicators than men; they seem to be more adept at the subtleties of gestures, facial expressions, and body language. Therefore, men and women almost always suffer from communication breakdowns in relationships.

Unfortunately, some women do not express themselves honestly and openly. It seems that they are more apt to use voice inflections and body language to communicate what they mean, even when the actual words they are saying convey the opposite. Take this situation, for example: "No, I don't mind if you go out with your friends instead of taking me to a movie tonight," a woman says, tapping her foot and looking away with her arms folded. Although her mouth is saying quite literally, "No, I don't mind," her body is saying she does mind. Women expect the men in their lives to read their nonverbal cues.

Some men fail to read the nonverbal cues of the women in their lives. When this happens, an argument is almost always the result, because the woman feels that she communicated her feelings to the man and he ignored her. For example, I'll use the scenario from the previous paragraph. When that man comes home from his night out with the guys, his wife is going to be angry at him. She'll probably snap at him when she talks, slam doors, or even yell at him.

"What's the problem?" he'll ask.

"You know what the problem is!"

But he really may not know what the problem is, because she never came out and said what she meant in words. She expected him to read the nonverbal cues and he totally missed them. As a result, the woman believes that the man is just being callous and self-centered. Likewise, the man is upset too; he thinks she's nagging him for no reason. Both of them will go to bed angry.

The 3 B's of sex
"I'm going to be straight about it: sex is important to me."
Perhaps it would be nice if sex didn't play such a major role in relationships. But for most people, sex is a big part of a relationship. And for men, it's probably more important than it should be. The sexual aggravations of men boil down to the three B's: bad, boring, and the boudoir battle.

1.Bad sex

Sex is a learned skill. It's similar to driving a car. Basically, anyone can do it. Some are good at it. And others are experts. But everyone has an idea of what they consider good and bad sex. Common complaints among men are: lack of enthusiasm, lack of rhythm, no creativity, and poor technique. If a person in a relationship is dissatisfied or experiencing sexual dysfunction, it's something that should be openly and honestly discussed. The reasons for sexual dysfunction can be psychological, physiological, ethical, and religious, or a host of other things. If the problems seem insurmountable, the advice of a pastor or therapist may be necessary.
 
2.Boring sex

Boring sex isn't necessarily the same thing as bad sex. But it is far from good. Boring sex is always doing it in the same place, at the same time, and in the same old position. It's when the sex gets to the point that it feels like more of a duty than a desire. Boring sex is when you're going through all the motions but there's no spice or passion involved. 

3.Boudoir battle

Using sex as a weapon doesn't do anything but make a man angry. It can be subtle things such as not being open to touching and cuddling. Or it can be more strategic. It can be the refusal to do certain things in bed. The most brutal form of bedroom battle is outright refusal.

Of course, a man can't expect a woman who is angry at him to make mad, passionate love to him. That's where communication comes into play. It's far better to talk and resolve the differences than to play games of will because any real man will be very insulted by such behavior. Then he may become vengeful and the whole thing turns into a cold war of revenge. Boudoir battle can lead to deep resentment and some men will use it as an excuse to cheat on their wives or girlfriends.

Constantly talking about other men
"She's always talking about this guy at her job and it really pisses me off."
Men don't like to hear women constantly talking about other men. It's not necessarily an ego thing. It's just that each man wants to feel special and important to the woman in his life. Women don't have to cradle us like babies. Nor do they need to be patronizing. But a woman would be wise to realize that the ego of a man can be fragile. Black men in particular are constantly attempting to gain and maintain the basic elements of American manhood: the ability to provide, protect, and be masters of our own destinies. Not talking excessively to your husband or boyfriend about how great you think other men are is one small thing that can go a long way toward healing the beleaguered black male ego.

Being a drama queen
"She calls my pager all day when I'm at work. Then when I call her back, she just starts whining about some little thing that could've waited until later."

Drama queens are always whining, pestering, or nagging about something. With them, nothing can ever be right. They pull all kinds of little tricks to get and control a man's attention. If he's watching television, she wants him to get up and put out the trash. When he has time off from work, she tries to plan each hour for him. If it's bill-paying time, she's crying about her car note being late.

Another technique used by the drama queen is to play damsel in distress to get a man's attention. In this role the drama queen says "save me." Initially, it may make a man feel good to be the chivalrous knight in shining armor coming to the rescue. But too much distress can drive even the most loyal knight to ride off into the sunset.

Being hard and cold
"I work the graveyard shift so I don't have to be at home with my wife."
That response was from a man who had been married less than one year and was already engaged in a cold war with his wife. Most of the time she was openly disrespectful to him as a human being, not just as a man. Other times she was cold and aloof, barely acknowledging that he was in the room. Believe it or not, men have feelings too. Hard and cold behavior is enough to drive anyone away. Again, we aren't asking to be cradled like babies. But every man wants home to be a safe refuge from the cold-hearted world. However, when the world at home is colder than the work world, there is no solace.
 
Cheating

"They call us dogs, but women are out there fooling around just as much."
Some women will maintain that when a woman is cheating it's always the fault of a man. That simply isn't true. Women are human beings and are therefore just as subject to dishonesty and deceit as any man.

Cheating takes two forms. First, there's the obvious form, which is having affairs. But the second way of cheating is mental. It's the subtle art of getting over on him. She may not be fooling around with another man but she may be cheating by fooling around with the checkbook balance. Her body may be faithful, but she may be cheating by playing manipulative games to keep him within her control. Such games rob a man of his energy and creativity and prevent him from realizing his full potential. The truth is that cheating doesn't have to be just about affairs or lovers. Cheating is deception of any kind.

Engaging in power struggle

"I can't stand it when a woman always wants to prove to me that she's smart, tough, and independent."
It really irritates men when women they're involved with are constantly trying to upstage them. This is especially bothersome for those men who aren't trying to compete with their mates. This behavior takes many forms. Some women who engage in power struggles with their mates do it through career competition: who can make the most money or get the most prestige? For some the competition is based upon education level: who has the most advanced degree from the most prestigious school? Another form of engaging in a power struggle is competing in disagreements: who gets the last word in? In addition to those power struggles, the men I spoke with mentioned four other ways some women engage in a power struggle: (1) Making sure they look smarter than a man by intentionally upstaging him in public. (2) Disagreeing for the sake of disagreement. (3) Unnecessary rudeness. (4) Being condescending or cutting down what a man says when he states his personal thoughts and opinions.

The guys I spent the evening talking with agreed that they weren't intimidated by women who made more money, drove more expensive cars, or had more education than they did. Their issue was with women who want to flaunt those things in order to be the superior person in a relationship. They all agreed that such behavior was a complete turnoff. No matter what form the power struggle comes in, it's an energy drain for a man who isn't interested in competing with his mate. Engaging in a power struggle is a quick way to drive a man away.

I know this list is going to make the tempers of some women flare. But remember, this isn't a list of complaints. It's information intended to give women insight into what men are thinking; it's a bridge across the communication gap. Without straight and candid communication, we can't solve the issues that threaten to end so many relationships. Use these ten issues as a starting point for a dialogue with your husband, the man in your life, or a male friend. Such a discussion will give you even better insight than reading this list. And that’s the one-on-one communication needed not only to save relationships but to make them better.

 
I will talk to ya again soon. Keep on Dating!
There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!

Break-Up Fixes And Remedies

    When love is lost, sometimes the most comforting thing to do is read breakup quotes. To have expressed so well the feelings you are having can help you to come to grips with your own emotions. Other times, it's just really nice to know that you aren't the only person who has felt heartbreak after a relationship ends. This can also be encouraging as well, as you read the thoughts of people who have broken up, survived it, and have moved on. Understanding the nature of love and breakups won't take the pain away, especially if you were rudely dumped, but they can help you to realize that your feelings have been shared by others. 

Recognize what wasn't working for you
So let me ask you. Are you spending a lot of time thinking about all the ways you screwed up in your relationship with your boyfriend, but all the ways he was great?

Do you keep rehashing an argument, wondering if things would have been better if you said or did something different from the beginning with him, feeling guilty or bad that things moved “too fast” between you (and it scared him away)? Do you daydream about all the ways he was special, and how you’ll never find anyone who understands you quite the same way he did?

Romanticizing or re-hashing the past is a pretty common thing many women do when they break up with a man. Big mistake. Don’t do this to yourself. This is 100% sure to only make you feel more awful, not to mention that it keeps you from focusing on what’s most important to you right now.

And that is learning how to get what you want and how to have the kind of relationship you deserve in the future. When you focus on your ex too much, and you spend your time “pining away” for a relationship, you miss out on a very important lesson.

You stop seeing all the ways that the relationship made life a roller cotter for you.You don’t realize all the ways he wasn’t right for you or made you feel less than your true self. You don’t learn what it is your really want and need from a relationship in order to be fulfilled. Let’s face it, you were led down some very negative emotional paths by this guy, weren’t you?

So, instead of thinking only of the “good times” and how much you miss him, consider all the things he did and said that made you feel insecure, anxious or frustrated feelings that one way or another probably contributed to the end of the relationship.

What can you learn about yourself, love and men from the things that drove you two apart, so that you’re sure to have a more intimate, loving and evolved relationship next time around.

Don’t repeat those same mistakes in your next relationship.If you’re starting to realize now that even if you love a man, you don’t really understand what it is that makes a relationship actually work and last with one…

Or you don’t understand what you’re doing in the relationship that’s causing him to withdraw or lose interest in you, you’ll just keep bringing those same issues into future relationships.

Then I want to show you: What defines a “good”, mature guy to begin with, so you don’t keep picking men who just aren’t ready for a real relationship in the first place .What makes a man feel inspired to be completely devoted to you from day 1, both emotionally and sexually .What a man needs in order to feel that he’s in love with you and that a relationship is “working” in his mind .

Go here to know what a truly honest and mature looks and sounds like, what inspires him to see you as the only woman for him. and how to make it effortless to want to be with you.

Stop losing yourself in relationships 
You probably gave up a lot to be with your guy. You gave up time with your friends and family. You gave up doing things you used to love doing things like reading, exercising, going on hikes, visiting art shows,whatever.

You gave it up in order to spend time with him. You gave it up to make him feel comfortable. You gave things up because the relationship seemed important, and you wanted it to work. Sure, I get it. Many women feel like they need to give things up to keep a man happy and attracted.

But if you’re using that excuse to: Stay emotionally attached to him, because you feel that you can’t “get over him” easily since you gave up so much .Feel too depressed to go out with your friends or get back to the things that used to make you feel alive and happy.Refuse to “get back out there” and date someone new. Then guess what you’re doing?

Yep, that’s right. You’re still giving up more of you and your happiness for his sake. Even though he’s out of your life. Have weeks, months or years have gone by, and you’re still in the same “sacrificing” place, putting your life on hold instead of realizing your own needs?

Snap out of it! You are actually continuing the very thing that helped break your relationship apart, and made you feel unhappy and unfulfilled. Stop the cycle of only finding that your relationships are about you and your partner turning on each other and breaking each other down.

It’s time you learned how to receives and to get the true love and devotion you deserve from a man. And yes, by you changing the way you go about your relationship you can make this change happen in the man you’re with, or in the kind of man you attract.

Don’t wait for the right relationship to “happen to you”, when you have the power to make it happen for yourself and feel 100% confident about where your love and relationship is headed. Let what you do from here forward in relationships start giving back and feeding you inside and out. forever.

Be ready for love when it finds you 
When you end a relationship that felt like it had a lot of “promise” and connection, it’s hard to believe you’ll ever find love again, at least in quite the same way. You might even vow not to date again for a long time, because you just don’t want to get hurt again. It can feel pretty safe to live inside the little “bubble” you make for yourself, just working on your career, spending time with friends, doing things that make you happy.

What do you need a man for anyway? Think.About it

You put yourself and your love life in a “holding pattern” because you don’t want to let another man in or get close. You don’t want to be vulnerable. What’s the point, if all that’s going to happen is that you’ll end up feeling more of the same, bad feelings you’re trying to get over now – right?

Actually, no. I don’t agree. Because if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize that you don’t want to shut yourself off from what can be the opportunity for an amazing, life-long experience. That one great guy you’re meant to be with could be out there right now. Unless you create the “space” for him in your life, you won’t be ready for love when it finds you.

Ok, you may feel pretty in-control and safe right now, but are you living? If you’re not taking a risk, are you risking never feeling the love and connection that could transform your life someday?

Nod your head right now if you feel even a grimmer of truth in what I’m saying. And here’s another common thing I hear from women who aren’t ready to date again. “There’s no good men out there for me anyway. The ones I’m attracted to aren’t attracted to me. Or they’re taken.” I can see how you may feel that way if you’re not sure how you’re going to attract the right guy, or the type of guy you’re into.

Plus, your recent experience with men has been, well, less than great. Like when a guy comes on strong at first, then suddenly tells you he’s “not ready” for anything serious, or isn’t “into” monogamy or commitment.No wonder you’d rather stick a twig in your eye than date again anytime soon.

Yeah, I get it. Alright, but what if I told you that you that I can help you learn exactly how to identify and attract the right guy, and give you an “edge” that you’ve never had before in dating?

Would it change the way you think and feel about men if you knew exactly how to get a man close and connected to you and keep him wanting you and only you, without games, manipulation or “tricks” of any kind whatsoever?

You can experience the kind of love you’ve always wanted in your life, regardless of what kinds of bad experiences you’ve had before. You’ll attract quality men because they will “sense” that you are the type of woman they’re looking to have something special with.

You’ll learn exactly what kinds of words and behavior magnetically draw a man to you, and what repels a man from ever wanting anything past the “physical” with you, so you can avoid making those mistakes and losing a guy after getting intimate with him.

Here’s the truth about attraction: It’s not about being a great beauty, or about seducing a man into having feelings for you. Actually, it’s about something deeper and morelong-lasting. And the best part is, that once a man feels this level of attraction for you, almost nothing can keep him away from wanting to be with you. I hope you take these steps and find the love you really deserve.And let me know how it worked for you.

I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!

Are you having a hard time getting past a recent break-up?

  Are you having a hard time getting past a recent break-up? Are you confused by a guy who says one thing, but does another? If so, it's likely that you're constantly asking yourself, "What is he thinking?!" This can be a huge trap for you as a woman. If you're thrown off and upset by the mixed signals your boyfriend is sending you about how attracted or committed he is to you, then ask yourself one question: What will it take to close this gap in understanding between you and your man? I will show you what men are really thinking and going through when they've done that predictably frustrating thing of saying that they love you but they're not acting like it anymore.

It's time you end your confusion by getting the real tools and answers you need to create the kind of relationship you want with a man. Men seem to act like they could take it or leave it in relationships. But if you know what a man is really looking for and what drives him wild, it's likely that you could experience that ongoing and intense attraction and devotion from your man that only a few women seem to have.


Maybe you were dating for a while and you thought things were pretty amazing, but he wasn't so sure. Or maybe you were the one who decided it was better to end things. But now you find yourself wondering if that was really the right move, because you're having trouble moving on.

Are you're still trying to figure out how to get him back, or show him that you're really "the one" for him?

You text him, or call him, and maybe agreed to "still be friends" and hang out once in a while. But nothing seems to make you feel better. In fact, the more you talk to him or see him, the worse you feel. Still, you can't imagine not talking to him at all because you still have some very intense feelings that just aren't going away anytime soon.

In any case, you're feeling pretty "stuck" right now, and you don't know what to do about it.If that's true, then stick around and keep reading, because in this email I'm going to give you three powerful remedies for getting past a break-up and getting your love life back on track.

These remedies will fast-track you through feeling better and getting past all the confusion of your break-up. Take a few minutes to read and really think about each step, and then commit to follow through on each one.You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel.
Check on this post:Quick Break-Up Fixes & Remedies....

I will talk to ya again soon. Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!

The one I love may have fallen out off love with me

    This is an e-mail from a reader."I have been dating him for 7 months, we met through church friends, and he told me from the start god has changed his life, (and himself) that the old him was a horrid person. Before dating him I did not think soul mates existed but after falling for him I really do believe he is the one. And 1 month into the relationship he got called to work 4 hours away from this city, But despite it all he still drove 3 hours every weekend back here just to see me. Through it all he got really depressed and anxious working away from family, Then when he left this job early to come back to our city, he told me his old self was coming back brought on by the depression and anxiety."

"He has only just come back from this place 4 hours away. And things slowly started going downhill. I was starting to get depressed and he was starting to treat me less and less like he loves me. It was hurting, but I figured "hey he might just need some time to think" because he was just stressed before with me being depressed. But then over the phone I also brought up something else. That he is acting like he dose not love me. And then he told me that he has grown apart from me so there for he dose not know if he loves me anymore."

"He then mentioned how he told me his old self is coming back and that he has in the past just over night fallen out off love with previous girl friends. I Don't know what is wrong with him. Has he got a fear off commitment? is it the anxiety, and depression playing up on him? Because As I said to him over the phone you can leave now like all the others but how will you ever solve this problem? His relationships never last over a month especially in my case, our relationship lasted 6 mouths. He told me over the phone a few hours ago. That he feels cold and distant. numb tactfully."

"I really wanna know whats wrong with him. And if there is a way for us to fix this problem. I mean how does someone just fall out off love with someone after telling them they changed your life in a positive way, and that they mean the world to you."

Do you have some meaningful advice for this reader, please let me know by leaving your valuable comments here.

I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!

Single Again After A Break-Up What Now?

What does it mean exactly when a guy says he wants his freedom? You'll be dating a guy for a few weeks or months and even though things seemed to have been going great, he suddenly drops one of these lines on you:

"I need some space." "I don't want to give up my freedom." "I don't want to be tied down right now."

So what is he talking about? It's not as if you're keeping him from living his
life or getting in his way.

The truth is, some women will make a man feel like he has freedom to pursue his dreams because of their own sense of freedom and independence, and some women will "drag" a guy down because of their neediness and insecurity.

Men will also prefer to "date" instead of settling into a more serious and committed relationship because:

1. Dating is a no-brainer for him.

2. Dating is where the attraction and fun is, in his mind.
3. He's just not feeling that you're "The One"

To learn the whole story about why men are afraid to "settle down" with one woman and what you can do and say to turn his thinking around so that he will be begging you for a commitment.
Are you ready for some quick "hands-on" tips about what really works with men, and what doesn't? Check it in my next MUST READ post....

P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life.

Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.

I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!

A Break In A Relationship Sometimes Saves It

Are you confused by a guy who says one thing, but does another? So you feel as if nothing is working out in your life or maybe some things are working out for you but your current relationship has executed a wrong turn and has failed to find the right road again. If you are frustrated in your relationship or with your partner you might want to consider taking a break.

Taking a break does not mean that you no longer love each other. A break does not mean that you will not resolve your issues within the relationship. A break is a common practice among people who are dating, live together or our married.

Taking a break can lead to a sense of relationship renewal and better communication between you and your partner. If you are unsatisfied with your relationship there are a few things to consider before you decide to take a break.

First of all you should sit down and ask yourself why you are unhappy in the relationship. Make a list of the characteristics you love about your partner. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. Was it because of common interests or because they were what you needed at the time?

All of us fall in love for different reasons. Next write down your partners characteristics that have been bothering you. See if there are any dangerous warning signs such as excessive alcohol use or a violent temper.

After you have made your list carefully consider your goals in life, your life plan and figure out how your current relationship fits into this plan. Also, take into consideration that your relationship stress may have nothing do to with the relationship itself.

You could be experiencing the pressure of financial stress or maybe you just faced a traumatic event or you feel overwhelmed in your life right now. Many times relationships suffer when external sources are negatively impacting us.

Figure out what is going on in your life and separate the external stress factors. After you have carefully thought all of this through it is time to sit down and talk with your partner.

It is only fair that you are honest with your partner about your feelings. Nothing can be resolved without clear communication. Both of you should engage in a serious discussion about your relationship and where it is going. Your partner may be just as unhappy as you are.

After all is said and done the two of you may decide to take a break. A relationship break is a healthy option that many couples benefit from. Sometimes it is necessary for people to take a break in order to figure out what they want or to view the relationship in a different light.

During a break make sure to talk with your partner, check and see how things are going and discuss what you want for the future. Many couples that get back together after a break find their relationship to be stronger.

Some of us forget why we fell in love or our life has become burdensome and we just need to take a break from everything. A relationship break is not the end of the world.

Sometimes a break is just the beginning as it leads to a more promising and fulfilling relationship in the future. A relationship break can cause us to realize that our partner is truly the love of our life.

P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life.

Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.

I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!

Why on Earth would Woman opt to stay in a disrespectful, fearful relationship?

Yes, I'm sure you do love him - at least the 'good side' of him. But what else is there to your love? Does he not make you feel embarrassed by his control and power over you by his direct disrespect for you? Even if it was 'love' you felt for him and not the flattery of 'his needing you' the funny thing that you don't realize is that you can love someone and not be with them. It is sooooo possible.

Of course leaving is a very difficult thing to do. The only time we really consider it is in the very throes of the abuse the moment when we would leave barefoot and naked in the middle of a blizzard if need be. But then things calm down for a moment in time. The promises and remorse starts.

The logic starts running through your head. Then the excuses - the fear, "Why leave? He'll just hunt me down and kill me." Doubtful. He may threaten, because threats have proven to be so successful in controlling you in the past. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Call the police.

You can relocate, you can get protection, you can 'call him' on his suicide threat. Take my word for it, he won't start systematically 'knocking off members of your family' until you return to him. Gee! "I can't leave him. I'm the only one that understands him. I feel so sorry for him. He really doesn't want to be this way." You feel sorry for him? You mean like you feel sorry for those little, innocent children dying in the hospital? Like you feel for the parents who are watching them die? THAT'S something to feel sorry about.

Not an adult man who opts to revisit his pain over and over again, heaping it all on you, instead of being brave enough to face it head-on and take direct responsibility for it.

Not someone who can charmingly smile and say good-bye to house guests, then turn around and punch you the minute they pull out of the driveway. Part of this man's hook is his 'childlike hurt'. "Life is so good when he isn't abusing, I couldn't ask for a better man." Couldn't you?


Yes, the hardest thing you may ever have to do is to find the courage to leave. You can leave, and you can make it on your own. Your situation isn't any different than many others you may think it is special, but it's not. Just look at mine no car, no driver's license, no money, no help from anyone, four kids, systemic lupus, emphysema, and MS.If someone in your situation can do it then most assuredly, you can, too.

And stop thinking that if you somehow 'change' the abuse will stop. You mean that if you can go through the rest of your 'one-and-only' life without ever burning a meal again, that everything will be honky-dory? You don't really believe that, do you? You don't need to change he does.

You can have the very best man and have the most wonderful marriage without the high cost. Believe me!
Whether emotional, verbal, mental, physical, or a combination of all - abuse wears you down. You go from a happy, care-free woman (remember those days before him) to days of consuming feelings of resentment, anger, depression and growing insecurity. When you look into the mirror you see a shell of a person, with no life left in their eyes.

Go right now and look in the mirror you'll be surprised to see the 'life' is no longer there. You are empty. Hollow. This relationship is not making you a 'whole' person, it is making you a 'worthless of a woman'.Is that what you prefer in your love life?

P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life. Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.

I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!

How Women "Love" To Be Abused In "Not Working Relationships"

You as Woman,the thing you must know about your life is that you have choices. You have options. You have rights. You are not a belonging, you are not ruled by emotions, you are ruled by common sense. However,after enduring abuse we tend to disregard our common sense and logical thoughts - and let our emotions rule our life. This is the trap that keeps you hooked.

Yet,there is hope.There is promise to a better life and a freedom above and beyond emotional and psychological imprisonment.When power,control,and violence become the prevalent modes of resolving conflicts, abuse takes place.

If you are the victim of abuse any kind of abuse you should face the facts that you can't see while caught in the 'trap' of abuse you are not responsible. The abuser may take out his rage on you, but do not make the common mistake of taking 'ownership' over their rage. It is not yours, it is theirs.

Give it back to them and stop playing God! And remember, what is upsetting to the abuser goes deeper and beyond what you see. No, it isn't about how you cooked dinner, or that you forget to pick up the dry cleaning, or that the man in the corner of the restaurant 'looked' at you. You are just the doorway he needs to vent. By placing blame at your feet he is doing one of two things.

1). He is attempting to control you.
2). He is attempting to turn his own shame outward by directing it onto others rather you.

This abolishes him from the inner turmoil and self-doubts that rage through his veins.

Well,you ask,'what about therapy?' What about it?! Therapy doesn't work in most cases. In fact, therapy is usually sought by the abuser simply as another means to 'control' you. They have absolutely no intention of seeking help, because they have absolutely no intention of doing anything - but keeping you.

The sad truth is, abusers very rarely, if ever, stop their abusive ways. They swear they will, they promise anything. But usually all this means is the next time the abuse will be worse - because the next time they know that you may just leave them this time, after this 'last' and 'final' break of their promise.

Fact - get out.

Fiction - things can change if you just love them harder and try to get to the root of the problem.

Fact - you can not get them help. You can only get you help.

But how many times have you heard this? You are like the teenager who has grown up with the repeated advice that drugs are bad yet continue to try them out anyway.

Why? Could facts, experience, proof, and life's little instruction book only apply to other people? Are you special? Different? Is your abuser special and different from other abusers? Don't kid yourself! Drugs kill. Abusers kill. Those are the cold-hard facts and ...yes ...they do apply to you.

It is up to you to take the action required to remove yourself, and your children if applicable, from any abusive situation. That is the only way possible to help the abuser. As long as you are there the atmosphere is unhealthy, the abuse escalates, the abuser becomes more aware of having a 'problem', the abuser denies responsibility for 'the problem',the abuser redirects the problem onto you. The abuser has no need to change.

Do not believe the abuser when he claims the abuse is your fault. Never! And let's just say for the sake of saying that it is your fault. That you are a loser, a bad housewife, ignorant, stupid, forgetful, worthless, inconsiderate ,whatever does that justify abuse?

NO! If my 11-year-old cousin was mentally handicapped would I be justified in abusing him? NO! My dog is not very intelligent and he chewed my slipper. Can I beat the dog? NO! Abuse is never justified. Never called for. Never excused. Never reasoned away.

Abuse is abuse. Part of our rights as a human is to demand respect and to give respect in return. Physically, emotionally, verbally, or mentally abusive behavior demonstrates the highest level of disrespect. This is the man who loves you sooo much, but is just 'confused'? Quit kidding yourself. That's not love.

That is an ill, sick person who clings to you with desperation one minute, and pulls you by the hair out onto the front lawn the next. Wake up!

More on the same in my next post...

P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life. Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.

I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!

The Shocking Facts About Women In Relationships

Did You Know that;

1). Over 1,300 women are killed each year by their husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends

2). An estimated three to four million women each year silently endure abuse or travel to hospital emergency rooms following an assault by their husbands or partners

3). In Canada ALONE, 1 woman is killed every 3 days by a man known to her

4). Nationwide, every 15 seconds a women is beaten, every three minutes a woman is raped, every six hours a women is killed

5). Domestic violence is the NUMBER ONE cause of emergency-room visits by women nationwide

6). Eighty-eight percent of women in prison are victims of domestic violence

7). More than 3 million children witness acts of domestic violence nationwide every year
8). Children of abused mothers are six times as likely to attempt suicide and 50 percent more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol

Well,whether emotional, verbal, mental, physical, or a combination of all abuse wears you down. You go from a happy, care-free woman {remember those days before him} to days of consuming feelings of resentment,anger,depression and growing insecurity. When you look into the mirror you see a shell of a person, with no life left in their eyes. Go right now and look in the mirror {you'll be surprised to see the 'life' is no longer there. You are empty. Hollow. This relationship is not making you a 'whole' person, it is making you a 'non-person'.

Is there anything you can do about it? Check it out in my MUST READ next post!

P.S.
What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life. Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.

I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!

Why Men Leave Then Want You Back?

Welcome,
If you've had a man coming in and out of your life who's breaking your heart and then trying to make it better and get you back.And you want to understand why this keeps happening and what to do about it, then it's time you understood what it is that makes a man ready to truly commit to you, or not. And so you know.If you're trying to save your relationship,instead of addressing the real reasons your guy keeps backing out and getting scared in the first place, you're going to get nowhere and you'll likely keep having the same problems with him.

But if you want to know the signs of when a good man is ready to commit, and what makes a man suddenly "wake up" and realize the amazing woman he's got right in front of him, to where he won't ever want to be without you again.

I wanted to share a couple of personal questions I got from women who might be in a situation like yours.If you're in a relationship but having trouble taking things to the next level because your man doesn't seem to care where things go next.Or you find yourself losing your cool in your relationship and accidentally pushing your man away.Then do not miss out reading this short tip-filled e-mail.

### E-mail From A Reader ###
Hi,
My name is C.K. and I am looking for you advice that would be best for my situation. I have been following your blog post and they have been very helpful to me in my love life. They have brought me so much understanding and help.I am truly thankful for all your work because I believe it led to getting my ex boyfriend back as well as teaching me invaluable things I needed to know about relationships and men.

Well,although I am back with the man I love and learned great things that helped I still have a few problem area's that I need help with. Me and the man I love met over three years ago and have never been engaged. I am 31 years old and he is 35. We
have never lived together. there is no current plans to get married soon, and that bothers me. I really don't know the best way to go about asking him what his plans are as to if he is going to marry me. he shows me he cares in a lot of ways but I am not sure he wants to be with me forever and really loves me the way I love him. I
am scared if I bring it up it will push him away. I don't want to force him into anything. We are both getting older and been going out along time.Please help me to go about this problem?

On the other hand,my family and friends tell me that if he isn't going to marry me soon I should find a guy who will. I love this man a lot and don't want to
loose him but I also don't want to feel I am not worthy of being his wife, fiancee or a serious commitment from him. He wants to see me and makes that effort to try and do things with and for me.

Another problem is although I feel he loves me and I know I love him but he never tells me he loves me. I feel he shows he loves me but it hurts for him not to tell me he does. I don't tell him I love him because I am scared it might scare him
away. It took a lot to get him back. he did leave me a few times. The advice I got from your blog helped get him back with me. Now I am looking to take the next step to have it go further. Like I said. I am scared to confront him about marriage and where our future is going because I don't know the best way to go about it without being needy or demanding. Please help me!! Sincerely,C.K.

###My Response To Her ####

C.K---Well,this might sound strange with all that I talk about around not being needy and demanding.But yours is a difference case.You need to be more selfish.Here's why.You are "worthy", and for the love you give,you deserve a man who is ready and willing to share the same in return.

You should never be afraid to want what you want in your life.And that's doubly true when it comes to your love life.The fact that you want a close and loving relationship that consists of a longer-term commitment and marriage is great.
You deserve what you want, and you are in no way a "needy" woman for wanting that.

So don't confuse your dreams and desires with being needy or demanding - even if men try and tell you differently.Life is way too short to not follow your heart and be with a man who doesn't fully meet you and share the love you're capable of.

But wanting something, and how you go about it, are two different things.Do not forget this - it's important!Before you try and talk more to the man in your life about marriage, there's something you need to address first.Here goes.You need to feel more comfortable with the fact that it's ok for you to have marriage as a
priority.Why?

Because when you have that funny feeling in your stomach that your man is going to somehow "punish" you or withdraw just because you talk about what your dreams and your vision of love is, it's almost impossible for what you want to come out in a way that's calm, centered, and helps you create what you want with him.

When you're freaked out at the thought of what might go wrong by talking to him about it, and you're imagining all the bad things that might happen, you've already created distance between you and him, and you're sure to get a bad reaction from him. Here's a little secret.The more comfortable and confident you feel about yourself, your life, and asking for what you want, the more comfortable other people (your man) are going to be with hearing from you.

And the more likely you are to start getting what you want.But when you're already wound up in your head and nervous, guilty, upset or anxious about talking to your man about something, the entire context of your conversation becomes something that feels heavy and negative.

And there's no more certain way to have a man shut down emotionally than coming to him and starting a conversation with a flood of your own frustrations and fears. When what you really want is for him to see you, see your love, and begin to imagine with you all the amazing things that are possible in your future.

So what are you showing him? Let me ask you something important.How honest are you being? How honest are you with him, and how honest are you being with yourself? To have your relationship grow, you need to be more honest about what it is that you're feeling,and what it is that you really want.

Otherwise, there's no hope for your relationship to grow - because you aren't putting more of your true self and your heart into it.Of course, this requires you to be vulnerable.Vulnerable to be truly honest.Vulnerable to show him who you really are, and what you really want.

And vulnerable enough to risk hearing "No" if the truth of your relationship is that marriage isn't in the cards with this man.Are you clear enough about what marriage is to you and why you want it that you're ready to tell him that you want marriage, and risk hearing "No" if that's his truth? You have a choice here.

You can keep wanting marriage, and try indirect ways of getting him to want it with you translation - play games. Or you can take a long hard look at your life,your relationship, and what it is you really want and be brave enough talk about it and to go after it even if it hurts a bit more in the short run.Remember, you can't make a man want marriage but you sure can make a man really want you.

And if marriage is something you are clear and comfortable with wanting, and you let your man know that to be with you he has to start to be clear about wanting it with you, then things are going to start going your way. But remember, once you share what you want,don't make the mistake of trying to convince your man to want what you want, or blame or hurt him when he tells you he doesn't want exactly what you say you want.Pleading, convincing or demanding never works with men.

Instead, once you start being clear and honest,you need to lead your relationship to the next level with the things that have the power to take your man there with you.And those things are connection and attraction.A man doesn't just commit to a woman and marriage because it makes sense, or it's the right thing to do and she wants him to.At least not in good, happy, healthy marriages that last!

A man commits to a woman because he feels such a deep and intense level of attraction for her that he can't imagine feeling the same way with any other woman.And he's ready and willing to commit his life and his love to you because he doesn't ever want to lose you and the incredible way you make him feel when he's around you.

For my very best tips and secrets about what makes a man feel that magic emotion called attraction that's deeper than just the casual everyday Physical Attraction a man can feel for any good looking woman.Try to go through my previous post on how you are going to build, the connection and attraction that will have your man begging you to be with him, and only him, forever.

Oh, and attraction isn't the only thing that matters.But it's often the most important thing if a man isn't taking things to the next level with you.Do some soul searching and find a way to get comfortable wanting what you want.Then you need to find a way to share what you want in a loving and honest way with your man more of a statement of what you want and not what you expect or demand from him.

Demands and entitlements don't work with men, and they don't work with love.In the meantime, here's what's equally as important. Don't forget to live a great life with him and build and share all kinds of intense and amazing love and attraction in the meantime.If you do, then I know he won't be able to think of anything else than being with you, and only you.And let me know how it goes.
TO BE CONTINUED....................
I will talk to you again soon. Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.Best of luck in life and love!

He "Needs Space"- What It Really Means

Welcome,
Do you know what it means when your boyfriend gets quiet, "zones out" and acts like he doesn't want to talk to you? One minute everything feels great and you're laughing and connecting and the next minute some weird "mood" comes over him and he goes off into his own little world.

Or maybe your relationship is chugging along at full speed, getting closer and closer, and suddenly you feel like YOU are the only one reaching out and connecting...and he is just sitting there? What's up with that? Why do men do this?
If this has ever happened to you, I want you to know that it's critical for you to know why - and what to do about it and what to avoid doing at all costs.

I need you to pay attention here;Because this is important,How you react in a situation like this can mean the difference between him knowing the one woman who can make him happy, or feeling unsure about the future of your relationship.Let me know share a question I recently received from a reader about a situation just like this.
$$$$$$READER'S QUIZ$$$$$

Dear Duken,
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost one year and we are very serious about each other. We are even talking about marriage and we have already moved in together.So what's the problem you ask?

Even after all this time, I still find myself trying to figure out what he's thinking sometimes.Sometimes he's a mystery to me, why he does and says some of the things he does, and this scares me a lot and makes me crazy since we are so serious about each other.

For instance, sometimes he just gets quiet and won't talk to me. And it doesn't have to be anything going wrong like a fight or anything for this to happen.He says that he needs his alone time, but I sense that it's because of something I have done that makes him shut down. I'd really like to fix it if I could. I wish I knew how to read these things better or if I even should be reading anything into it at all. Help me out? ...S*

$$$$$ MY COMMENT $$$$$$

I can help you.First of all, I have some good news for you.You can relax.From what I'm hearing about your situation, there is nothing abnormal or wrong with what is happening between you and your boyfriend.

The fact that he's telling you he needs "alone time" doesn't have anything to do with how he feels about you and your "serious" relationship.It has everything to do with how a man approaches relationships, his own "down time" and the "up time" when he is with you.

Many women believe that when a man acts "disengaged" it is because he's not happy, or he's unsatisfied, or he doesn't want to be with you and wants to be with someone else.Not so!As a matter of fact, thinking that there's something wrong with the relationship when a man gets quiet is one of what I call the "Man Myths" that a lot of women believe about men.

The way your boyfriend is behaving is typical and to be expected of a man in a relationship.It doesn't mean something is wrong...for example:Has your guy ever done this? Made plans to spend a night alone with "the guys" after several intense and romantic days with youGo and "zone out" in front of the T.V. or computer after dinner or after a long conversation with you, and acts irritated when you try to interrupt him

Spend huge chunks of time on weekends tinkering around the garage or working on his hobby and not engaged or interested in spending time with you

I'd bet that he's done this more than once and when he does, what do YOU think about what's going through his mind?Do you start wondering if he's angry about something you did or said, or is somehow disapproving of you in some way?

Do you wonder if he cares LESS about you in that moment, or is questioning your relationship? Do you start to talk yourself into feeling, "ok, well he's into his own thing, so I'm going to go off and be into mine."

Or do you think, "well I need to fill my time with other interests since he is OBVIOUSLY not interested in spending his precious time with me."

If you find yourself thinking any of these things, chances are pretty good that you're reacting to him in a way that sends a very negative message - a message that is guaranteed to send him packing or push him away from you.

That's because you're reacting to a myths that you heard somewhere about men - that men really don't care about spending quality, intimate time with women.Ok,I'm a man and I am going to say that again and in all caps because I can!

MEN DO CARE ABOUT SPENDING QUALITY, INTIMATE TIME WITH WOMEN.

What's worse, though, is that by believing the myth that men need alone time because they don't care about you, or would rather not talk because they're disapproving of you in any way is probably causing you to behave in a way that is destructive to your relationship.

Let me explain.You wrote in your email that you feel scared and a little bit crazy when your boyfriend behaves in a way that is a mystery to you.

What if I were to tell you that men have a completely different way of unplugging and decompressing than women do...and that for a man,to spend time alone without talking or having a "deep" conversation is his way of relaxing and getting back some of his mental energy.

And yet you interpret it as meaning that he isn't engaged with you in some way.
The thing is, if you're punishing him in some way for doing things that are actually normal and natural for him as a man, such as needing alone time or time to zone out and decompress, then what you're actually communicating to him is that you don't understand who he is.

And if your man doesn't think that you understand him, then of course he will disengage!You just want him to be exactly like you.But that's not what you really want, is it?
While it's true that there are fundamental differences in men and women, such as the way they decompress and re-energize, it's also true that they have much more in common than you think.

Most women I talk with don't realize that men and women aren't really that different.Look at the list below. Do these sound like myths to you? Actually, they are truths about men and how they feel about relationships.

Men may not admit this readily, but for most men, when they decide that a woman is TRULY the woman for them, it is because she has met these criteria - maybe not all, but definitely most.

She makes him feel cherished.She makes him feel her desire for him, so he never feels unattractive, insignificant or unimportant.He feels safe and secure in the relationship.She makes him spontaneous and fun in a way he hasn't felt like since his youth...and feeling things that can't be planned in a relationship, just like you.
I will talk to ya again soon.Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.Best of luck in life and love!

Five Reasons A Man Falls Out Of Love & Leaves

Welcome,What is going on with your boyfriend when you know he has got strong feelings for you, but he is dragging his feet on committing? There are specific reasons why a man will make the conscious decision to commit to a woman or not.
Those reasons often have little or nothing to do with:a) How long you've been together (b). What everyone else, including you, thinks he "should do" (c). How much you've "invested" in the relationship.

A man will want to commit to you simply because of the way you make him feel.
If he feels that his life will be better with you in it, than without you, he will want to commit to you.But if he is unsure about the future of your relationship because of some lingering doubts in his mind, based on what is happening or not happening in your relationship, then you're already fighting an uphill battle.

Fortunately, there is a way for you to know exactly what to do and say to make sure he is not doubting your relationship. You have the power to make him feel utterly devoted and committed to you.It just takes knowing the secret to what a man is "commitment tempo" is and what it takes for him to want you, and only you, for life.

Well,now let's talk about the reasons why men often leave relationships.

$$$$ Reader's E-mail $$$$

Dukentaxer,
Thanks a lot for being there for us,I have been seeing my boyfriend for a year and
a half and we have a great relationship on all levels intellectually, physically, etc.However unfortunately we have been 'head-bashing' over a certain problem that keeps resurfacing in our relationship and now it has literally come to a point where he wants "time out". I have a problem trusting him and want to always control situations. I have constantly been giving him nonsense when he socializes with his female friends, and have an insecurity that he will leave me. It has been very strenuous on him and he actually told me this morning that he wants to be with me but he no longer knows what to do and wants time out of this relationship...

I finally did something right today when speaking to him after reading some of your blog post, I just listened and said that I understood. He said we will discuss it further this evening. I am so lost!!! I don't know what to do to fix this now, and am not sure if this can be "fixable". I Really Love him and he loves me, but it has been carrying on for so long he doesn't want to hear excuses anymore.

Please I need your Help now. What can I do to make this work? I will be forever grateful for your response and save me from this dilemma!
A.Z.

$$$ My Reply $$$$

Well, I'm going to have to lay it on the line for you because you're doing one of the worst things you can do: You're using your Fear and Neediness to justify feeling hurt and pushing your guy away.Imagine if you were to slap yourself silly,
then turn to him and cry and freak out and then blame him for making you do it.
And when he responds by saying, But you just slapped yourself, you go ahead and get even more upset, and act even more emotional, and then wonder, "What did I do to make him doubt our future together? What you're doing has roughly the same effect on your boyfriend as your current thinking and behavior.

Follow me here?

You have to find a way to get this jealousy and fear under control, because no matter how good your relationship with a man might be, or how much reassurance you get from him, it will never be enough for you because your mind will find a way to freak you out.Those negative feelings will keep coming up and driving him away each and every time.

Ask yourself a few important questions:How are all your negative emotions, fears and frustrations affecting the man in your life?

How does it make him think about you, your relationship and future together?

What thoughts and feelings would he share with you if he wasn't afraid of you freaking out?

Take my hint; Being able to listen and understand a man without immediately jumping to conclusions,criticizing or freaking out goes a long way towards creating a strong relationship that meets both your needs.The good news is that your situation isn't hopeless or un-fixable.But there are a few important truths about why men leave relationships with women they really like, or even love, that you need to know.

Reason $1). Why men leave relationships: The Pleasure Principle

Men and women want to feel good in their lives and in their relationships.If you're constantly freaking out on a man about something he?s doing or saying, you're quickly turning into a person who isn't fun to be around.He just won't feel that good around you.This has a huge impact on whether or not he'll want to invest more time and energy into you and your relationship.Or, if he'll decide to give up on trying to fix what?s going on so you can both feel good together.

Reason $2). Why men leave relationships: Emotional Experience and the Future

The way a woman acts in "little" situations become indicators to a man about how she'll respond when things really get tough in the future.So if a woman is constantly emotional or negative, even when a man does what he can to "reassure" her... he isn't going to believe things will get better the longer he's with her.He is going to feel as if he has to "walk on eggshells" around you, and that doesn't make anyone feel good about staying in a relationship.

Reason $3). Why men leave relationships: Lost Feelings of Attraction

Sure, love is important to a man.But experiencing those addicting and exciting feelings of connection and attraction with the woman he loves are just as important. Because when a man feels attraction and love,working out the little problems is a piece of cake.When he stops feeling that connection, he'll forget why he?s with you in the first place, and the relationship will start to feel like a whole bunch of "work" to him.

By the way, trying to "fix" things by talking about working on "the relationship" is a big mistake. A man wants to do fun and enjoyable things together not talk to know it's working.Sometimes a man will say he cares about you,or maybe even loves you, but he'll admit he?s not "in love" with you.If you've ever heard that from your man, it?s a symptom that he?s not feeling that gut-level of attraction for you, despite having affectionate feelings for you.

Creating that gut-level of attraction and sharing that attraction is one of the most powerful and important keys to giving a man his own reason for wanting to be with you, no matter what.I'm not talking about physical attraction,either.I'm talking about the emotional and intellectual attraction that comes from a deeper,more subconscious place.

Reason $4). Why men leave relationships: Neediness!!!

A man wants to be with a woman who brings something better to his life, not take away his time, energy and emotional "stability."So when a woman doesn't have much going on for herself or her life BESIDES the relationship,it's a big red flag to the man.It tells him she focuses too much on the relationship as the source of her happiness.

She stops hanging out with her friends as much, she stops focusing on her own interests or hobbies and she feels "controlled" by the relationship in some way.This not only looks "needy" to a man, but he realizes she isn't bringing a lot into the relationship on her own.

How can you tell you're guilty of this? Have you ever said this to yourself after a
break-up:"I can't believe how I lost touch with my friends while I was with that guy." "I can't believe I let him control me like that." "Where did my life go?" "What happened to the real me? I wasted so much time in that relationship, when I could have been doing things for myself or my future."

The reality is that no man and no relationship can or should be everything to you.You shouldn't have to sacrifice all your time and energy on a man.And the point is, he doesn't want you to. At least, no mature, "together" man will want you to.Controlling, psychotic men? Well, that is another story.

Reason $5). Why men leave relationships: "She's Trying to Fix Me"

A man can and will change and compromise for a woman. It's a fact.I see it all the time when men let go of their "bachelor lifestyles" for one special woman.But a man has to have his own reasons to change. A lot of women try to change a man by
showing him how it will affect them as a couple,not him alone.

People are motivated by things they want, not by things others want. If you want a man to change, you have to try to show him how it will benefit him and him alone, not you or your relationship.Just remember, if a man is deeply committed to you and your relationship and he isn't feeling or experiencing too many of the above "reasons" for leaving, then any issues you have will feel like small bumps in the road to him.He'll be confident, open, and secure about working things out with you.

P.S.
One more quick question;What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious?

Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you?

I actually put together a list of "Top ten "questions that I most commonly get from women like you, who are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to their love lives.Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.

Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and a man what you both Really want an attractive, happy, and together woman. I personally guarantee it.

I will talk to you again soon.Keep on Dating There is someone out there for
everyone.Best of luck in love and life!