Does your partner complain that you are not a good lover? Do you want to improve your lovemaking technique? If you want to make your partner purr with pleasure, you must:
1#. Learn what your partner enjoys. Just because you read about a great technique in an article or book doesn’t mean that it’s something your partner is going to like. You can ask your partner for feedback during or after lovemaking to see what they liked best about your approach.
2#. Remember what pleases your partner. Once you have feedback, stick it into your “sexual Rolodex” (or your favorite mental memory device) and use it again in the future. For example, if your partner goes crazy when you use your nails lightly on their inner thighs, definitely try that again when you’re in bed next time.
3#. Drop your inhibitions. When you hold back because you’re afraid of making a mistake or trying something new, you make your partner nervous, too. Then you feel their nervousness, and it just adds to your inhibitions. Stop the cycle. Whatever you want to do, try it! If it doesn’t please your partner, don’t get defensive, just listen and remember (see #2, above).
4#. Try different types of touch. Has your partner ever complained that your touch is too heavy or too light? Or boring and repetitive? Try using one finger, your thumb, the back of your hand, your nails. Bring in some soft fabric, fur, or a feather to try, too.
5#. Watch your partner’s responses. If you’re doing something your partner likes, your partner’s facial expression should change to one of interest, excitement, pleasure, or even bliss. Your partner may moan, groan, or sigh. If your partner’s facial expression is flat or they are silent, change it up. And if your partner doesn’t give you this kind of feedback, encourage them to do so.
6#. Engage all your senses during lovemaking. Your partner’s body is a marvelous feast spread before you. Let your partner know how good they look, smell, feel, and taste. When you approach your partner on all these levels, it’s simply irresistible.
It isn’t difficult to be a great lover. You just need to be willing to try things, keeping the techniques that turn your lover on and discarding the ones that turn them off. As always, that means good verbal—and nonverbal—communication. Repeat as needed (or wanted).
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Thanks!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
How to Stay Sexually Connected
It’s always easy to find reasons to avoid sex: you’re exhausted, not in the mood. There are a thousand things running through your head that merely thinking about it drains the life out of you; or you just don’t feel sexy anymore. Having sex is simply out of the question to a lot of women who is recovering from childbirth, dealing with hormonal imbalances, or fighting with a spouse. Is there a way to ignite passion amidst the stresses of everyday life? Can one stay sexually connected during unsexy times? Simple arguments and misunderstandings can make one lose interest in making love.
However, it is crucial to sustain a couple’s sex life. When a couple makes love after an argument, both are easily pacified, thus, there is less damage to the relationship. Body language that says I’m sorry (such as an imploring look, a smile or even a tender touch) should not be ignored. Humour and laughter is a potent aphrodisiac—tickle each other while kissing or play-wrestle your spouse. It may feel awkward getting sexually connected after a fight, especially when you start to mentally go over the problem. Just take a deep breath and enjoy the moment—save the discussion for later.
Giving birth is no easy feat, but what ensues after childbirth is even more challenging. Taking care of a baby round the clock is exhausting physically and emotionally, so when you hit the bed, all you want to do is sleep. Many women also say that their libido is very low at this time and that they don’t feel sexually connected at all. Physiologically speaking, this is totally normal. A woman’s estrogen levels are extremely low after childbirth, and there is an increase in prolactin, which causes a decrease in the production of lubrication that makes sexual intercourse comfortable. Every woman heals differently; some resume sex after six weeks post birth, while others may take up to a year before their sex life goes back to normal.
A lot of couples complain that there isn’t enough time for each other during this adjustment phase of having a baby in the family. It is important for both partners to talk about their feelings—a husband may feel rejected if the woman isn’t up to having sex, so it’s important for her to explain the physical discomfort or anxieties that may hold her back. Hugs and kisses can do a lot to express love and affection, as well as back massages. After all, being intimate doesn’t always spell s-e-x. Perimenopausal or menopausal symptoms – hot flashes, weight gain, difficulty sleeping, short-term memory loss and decreased sex drive—can make a woman kiss her sex life goodbye.
On the upside, this can be a liberating time for a woman, because the danger of getting pregnant without birth control is suddenly eliminated. It is very important to be honest with one’s husband—warn him that there will be good days, and there will be days when he won’t be getting any. Make him understand that it’s not about him, and shouldn’t take it personally when you’re not in the mood. Vaginal dryness can cause painful sex, but there are water-based lubricants such as KY Jelly, as well as vaginal estrogen therapy or hormone replacement therapy if needed. Exercise was also found to be directly related to ease of arousal.
Perimenopausal women who were effortlessly aroused also exercised regularly as they aged. Contrary to popular belief, men aren’t always “ready to go”. A man’s robust libido may decline due to a number of reasons. This decline in his desire shouldn’t be taken personally and treated as a crisis. Talk about it but in a non-accusatory tone. He may not even be aware of it—a check-up should confirm if there is a thyroid problem, low testosterone level or increased prolactin (hormone that contributes to sexual dysfunction).
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Thanks!
However, it is crucial to sustain a couple’s sex life. When a couple makes love after an argument, both are easily pacified, thus, there is less damage to the relationship. Body language that says I’m sorry (such as an imploring look, a smile or even a tender touch) should not be ignored. Humour and laughter is a potent aphrodisiac—tickle each other while kissing or play-wrestle your spouse. It may feel awkward getting sexually connected after a fight, especially when you start to mentally go over the problem. Just take a deep breath and enjoy the moment—save the discussion for later.
Giving birth is no easy feat, but what ensues after childbirth is even more challenging. Taking care of a baby round the clock is exhausting physically and emotionally, so when you hit the bed, all you want to do is sleep. Many women also say that their libido is very low at this time and that they don’t feel sexually connected at all. Physiologically speaking, this is totally normal. A woman’s estrogen levels are extremely low after childbirth, and there is an increase in prolactin, which causes a decrease in the production of lubrication that makes sexual intercourse comfortable. Every woman heals differently; some resume sex after six weeks post birth, while others may take up to a year before their sex life goes back to normal.
A lot of couples complain that there isn’t enough time for each other during this adjustment phase of having a baby in the family. It is important for both partners to talk about their feelings—a husband may feel rejected if the woman isn’t up to having sex, so it’s important for her to explain the physical discomfort or anxieties that may hold her back. Hugs and kisses can do a lot to express love and affection, as well as back massages. After all, being intimate doesn’t always spell s-e-x. Perimenopausal or menopausal symptoms – hot flashes, weight gain, difficulty sleeping, short-term memory loss and decreased sex drive—can make a woman kiss her sex life goodbye.
On the upside, this can be a liberating time for a woman, because the danger of getting pregnant without birth control is suddenly eliminated. It is very important to be honest with one’s husband—warn him that there will be good days, and there will be days when he won’t be getting any. Make him understand that it’s not about him, and shouldn’t take it personally when you’re not in the mood. Vaginal dryness can cause painful sex, but there are water-based lubricants such as KY Jelly, as well as vaginal estrogen therapy or hormone replacement therapy if needed. Exercise was also found to be directly related to ease of arousal.
Perimenopausal women who were effortlessly aroused also exercised regularly as they aged. Contrary to popular belief, men aren’t always “ready to go”. A man’s robust libido may decline due to a number of reasons. This decline in his desire shouldn’t be taken personally and treated as a crisis. Talk about it but in a non-accusatory tone. He may not even be aware of it—a check-up should confirm if there is a thyroid problem, low testosterone level or increased prolactin (hormone that contributes to sexual dysfunction).
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Thanks!
Tips On How You Can Seduce Your Wife
Whether you’ve been married a year or a decade, you’ve probably discovered that sex can go stale, no matter how much you love your partner. Keeping sex hot in a monogamous relationship is a challenge—but can you think of a better one to tackle?
As any sex therapist will tell you, there really are differences between men and women when it comes to sex. As long as a man is still in good health, he generally needs little priming to get ready for sex. While that doesn’t mean he won’t enjoy foreplay, just the thought of making love is enough to make him ready.
Women need more. They generally express the need to know that sex means more than just a physical release. Yes, physical release is good for women, but for women orgasm comes more easily and may even feel better if sex has some emotional meaning.
Sometimes men really don’t seem to understand how to make sex meaningful to their wife. Because a man sees the act of sex as an expression of love, he may not get what he needs to do to create trust and intimacy.
That is where the art of seduction comes in. To seduce someone means to entice them, to make the idea of sex very appealing. Seduction requires charm. You need to be clever, to make yourself not only attractive to your wife, but to attract her to you as well.
One way to seduce your wife is to let her know how much you love her. And I don’t just mean her chest or tush. I mean all of her. Tell her how much you love her face, her hands, the curve of her calf. Tell her you love her kindness and her laugh. Notice the things that made you first fall in love with her, and tell her that you still notice.
Another way to seduce her is to add some romance to your day. This is true most especially on a day that you are feeling in the mood for sex. You needn’t make a big gesture or spend a lot of money. Leave a little note someplace only she will see it (her makeup drawer, on top of her handbag). Or pour her a glass of wine or sparkling water and bring her a plate of cheese and fruit when she comes home at the end of the day.
The third important thing to remember if you want to seduce your wife is to start making love by touching her hands, arms, face, neck, and back before you move onto her more erotic areas. Most women need to be warmed up a bit before they like being touched in an intimate way. Touching and kissing your wife tenderly will show that you love and respect this about her.
These things may be small, but they are very important. And you can’t just do them once and expect her to be enchanted with you forever. You need to repeat, repeat, repeat. But not the exact same thing! Following a formula will just seem forced. You need to seduce your wife with love, from the heart.
Just because you’ve been together awhile doesn’t mean you should give up on doing all the things lovers do. You can get, and keep, your wife’s interest in sex if you know how to show her that you still love her and that sex means something to you, too.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Thanks!
As any sex therapist will tell you, there really are differences between men and women when it comes to sex. As long as a man is still in good health, he generally needs little priming to get ready for sex. While that doesn’t mean he won’t enjoy foreplay, just the thought of making love is enough to make him ready.
Women need more. They generally express the need to know that sex means more than just a physical release. Yes, physical release is good for women, but for women orgasm comes more easily and may even feel better if sex has some emotional meaning.
Sometimes men really don’t seem to understand how to make sex meaningful to their wife. Because a man sees the act of sex as an expression of love, he may not get what he needs to do to create trust and intimacy.
That is where the art of seduction comes in. To seduce someone means to entice them, to make the idea of sex very appealing. Seduction requires charm. You need to be clever, to make yourself not only attractive to your wife, but to attract her to you as well.
One way to seduce your wife is to let her know how much you love her. And I don’t just mean her chest or tush. I mean all of her. Tell her how much you love her face, her hands, the curve of her calf. Tell her you love her kindness and her laugh. Notice the things that made you first fall in love with her, and tell her that you still notice.
Another way to seduce her is to add some romance to your day. This is true most especially on a day that you are feeling in the mood for sex. You needn’t make a big gesture or spend a lot of money. Leave a little note someplace only she will see it (her makeup drawer, on top of her handbag). Or pour her a glass of wine or sparkling water and bring her a plate of cheese and fruit when she comes home at the end of the day.
The third important thing to remember if you want to seduce your wife is to start making love by touching her hands, arms, face, neck, and back before you move onto her more erotic areas. Most women need to be warmed up a bit before they like being touched in an intimate way. Touching and kissing your wife tenderly will show that you love and respect this about her.
These things may be small, but they are very important. And you can’t just do them once and expect her to be enchanted with you forever. You need to repeat, repeat, repeat. But not the exact same thing! Following a formula will just seem forced. You need to seduce your wife with love, from the heart.
Just because you’ve been together awhile doesn’t mean you should give up on doing all the things lovers do. You can get, and keep, your wife’s interest in sex if you know how to show her that you still love her and that sex means something to you, too.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Thanks!
Friday, April 3, 2009
Best Ways To Break Off An Affair
Most people at some point of time have been in relationship when they meet someone who looks like they would be "better" partner. However, marriage includes the expectation of primariness: the assurance of both partners to keeping each other the most important person in their life. Usually couples agree that primariness will include the expectation in which partners promise to have sexual relations with each other only.
Rather than being upset when you see someone who looks more appropriate to you, it is typically a sign that you need to pay more attention to your current relationship. As well, it is likely you or your partner is at a change phase in your relationship. For example, a new job, birth of a child, children launched, or return to school. Affairs are most likely to happen only during these phases in a couple's life cycle.
Sometimes, married couples may fall out of love and grow to dislike one another more than they care to admit. Nevertheless, for a variety of reasons (money, kids, religious beliefs, etc), they remain husband and wife in theory. These types of marriages may certainly lead one or both spouses to seek the comfort of another adult and cheat on one another.
In a troubled relationship, the lure of seeking solace in another often becomes tempting. Simple friendships or working arrangements with the opposite sex can easily turn into a full-blown affair. Despite a spouses attempt to prevent this type of relationship from becoming an extramarital affair, they may find their feelings too powerful to deny and thus give in to their desires to be with this new person. If you are involved in an affair and can’t seem to break it off, the following are a few tips to help you break free.
According to an affair poll of over 500 women conducted by WomanSavers.com, over 30% of women engaged in an affair said that the affair lasted more than a year, with approximately 25% saying their affair lasted less than 6 months.
To gather statistics on affairs is really a difficult task. The results generally varies due to the type of group being studied, the reporting method, and because we know people are lying, even when the research is anonymous. The percentage of those who say they had affairs ranges from 25% to 75% of all males and 15% to 60% of all women.
Here are some of the best ways to break off an affair
• Keep it short. Don’t go into in-depth details about why the affair can’t continue. The simpler and cleaner the break-up is, the better.
• Tell them in person and in public area where a scene is less likely to take place.
• Make it final. Don’t allow your affair partner to think there will be a chance of getting back together.
• Be kind. You want to move past this so you can work on your existing relationship or move on.
Breaking off an affair can be just as difficult as breaking up a marriage depending on if there are emotions involved and how long it has gone on. However, having an affair is never fair to the partner left in the dark. If you have any doubts on breaking off your affair, simply remember the golden rule, “due unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Rather than being upset when you see someone who looks more appropriate to you, it is typically a sign that you need to pay more attention to your current relationship. As well, it is likely you or your partner is at a change phase in your relationship. For example, a new job, birth of a child, children launched, or return to school. Affairs are most likely to happen only during these phases in a couple's life cycle.
Sometimes, married couples may fall out of love and grow to dislike one another more than they care to admit. Nevertheless, for a variety of reasons (money, kids, religious beliefs, etc), they remain husband and wife in theory. These types of marriages may certainly lead one or both spouses to seek the comfort of another adult and cheat on one another.
In a troubled relationship, the lure of seeking solace in another often becomes tempting. Simple friendships or working arrangements with the opposite sex can easily turn into a full-blown affair. Despite a spouses attempt to prevent this type of relationship from becoming an extramarital affair, they may find their feelings too powerful to deny and thus give in to their desires to be with this new person. If you are involved in an affair and can’t seem to break it off, the following are a few tips to help you break free.
According to an affair poll of over 500 women conducted by WomanSavers.com, over 30% of women engaged in an affair said that the affair lasted more than a year, with approximately 25% saying their affair lasted less than 6 months.
To gather statistics on affairs is really a difficult task. The results generally varies due to the type of group being studied, the reporting method, and because we know people are lying, even when the research is anonymous. The percentage of those who say they had affairs ranges from 25% to 75% of all males and 15% to 60% of all women.
Here are some of the best ways to break off an affair
• Keep it short. Don’t go into in-depth details about why the affair can’t continue. The simpler and cleaner the break-up is, the better.
• Tell them in person and in public area where a scene is less likely to take place.
• Make it final. Don’t allow your affair partner to think there will be a chance of getting back together.
• Be kind. You want to move past this so you can work on your existing relationship or move on.
Breaking off an affair can be just as difficult as breaking up a marriage depending on if there are emotions involved and how long it has gone on. However, having an affair is never fair to the partner left in the dark. If you have any doubts on breaking off your affair, simply remember the golden rule, “due unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
The "Must" Reasons Why Men Have Affairs
There are many different kinds of reasons for men to have affairs. Forces such as sexual attraction, companionship, excitement and curiosity can pull men toward affairs. Affairs are often glamorized in movies, romance novels, soap operas, and TV shows. Public disclosure of public figures having affairs is headline news because people are fascinated and titillated by hearing about others' affairs. Men are bombarded with images of women as sex objects in advertising and marketing campaigns. Over and over, the message to men is that the good life includes a procession of sexy women in their lives. Women inadvertently buy into this image and struggle to achieve it. The lack of good sex education and the existence of sexual taboos combine to make it difficult to talk honestly about sex.
Truly speaking, women seem to be better cheaters than men: they are better at keeping their affairs under wraps and generally have an agenda for their infidelity. Some affairs occur because the cheating parties truly want to leave their established partner, particularly when they are married. However, very few married men leave their wife for their mistress! That is, unless their wife finds out and leaves. The Bureau of Justice Statistics states that on an average, there are more than three women who gets murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day. If your partner is not willing to seek help for his abusive behavior, your only option is to leave or get divorced.
According to a poll of over 400 women conducted by WomanSavers.com, love and intimacy is the number one reason why women have affairs, followed by sex, money and finally excitement. The differences in why women and men have affairs are varied with women seeking emotional fulfillment and most men seeking sexual fulfillment.
The top 10 reasons why men have affairs include:
1. More sex (sometimes due to lack of sex in their relationship)
2. Sexual variety through different partners or different sexual experiences
3. Too boost their ego to feel special or still attractive to the opposite sex
4. For the thrill of the chase
5. Opportunistic sex (if the opportunity occurs, they can’t pass it up)
6. To sabotage their current relationship
7. Revenge (to get back at their partner for one reason or another)
8. A feeling of entitlement (the belief they are entitled because they work hard or are the bread winner)
9. Sexual addiction
10.To escape
There is no such thing as a perfect affair. Keeping an on-going affair is a juggling act of covering up lies, explaining time away, and dealing with associated guilt feelings. The cheater becomes consumed by guilt and sometimes lashes out even more at their partner. If you are involved in an affair, respect yourself and your partner enough to get out.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Truly speaking, women seem to be better cheaters than men: they are better at keeping their affairs under wraps and generally have an agenda for their infidelity. Some affairs occur because the cheating parties truly want to leave their established partner, particularly when they are married. However, very few married men leave their wife for their mistress! That is, unless their wife finds out and leaves. The Bureau of Justice Statistics states that on an average, there are more than three women who gets murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day. If your partner is not willing to seek help for his abusive behavior, your only option is to leave or get divorced.
According to a poll of over 400 women conducted by WomanSavers.com, love and intimacy is the number one reason why women have affairs, followed by sex, money and finally excitement. The differences in why women and men have affairs are varied with women seeking emotional fulfillment and most men seeking sexual fulfillment.
The top 10 reasons why men have affairs include:
1. More sex (sometimes due to lack of sex in their relationship)
2. Sexual variety through different partners or different sexual experiences
3. Too boost their ego to feel special or still attractive to the opposite sex
4. For the thrill of the chase
5. Opportunistic sex (if the opportunity occurs, they can’t pass it up)
6. To sabotage their current relationship
7. Revenge (to get back at their partner for one reason or another)
8. A feeling of entitlement (the belief they are entitled because they work hard or are the bread winner)
9. Sexual addiction
10.To escape
There is no such thing as a perfect affair. Keeping an on-going affair is a juggling act of covering up lies, explaining time away, and dealing with associated guilt feelings. The cheater becomes consumed by guilt and sometimes lashes out even more at their partner. If you are involved in an affair, respect yourself and your partner enough to get out.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Why Bad Guys Cheat And Good Guys Don't ?
One of the most painful experiences one undergoes in life is discovering your boyfriend or husband is a cheating guy. It becomes even more painful if you strongly care about, or deeply love, him. Why guys cheat is a question that demands a deep and introspective research and before we start we have to clarify what we really mean by cheating. Cheating to some people may be simple glances at a good looking woman as she walks down the street or thinking about that sexy looking number that is displayed on the calendar or thinking ‘if only I am single’.
According to Womansavers.com, 22% of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives, 70% of married women did not know of their spouses' extramarital activity, while another 3% of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse. In the year 1997, 22 percent of men admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage sometime in their past and 17 percent of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity.
At what point a woman believes her partner is cheating on her, is largely dependent on her level of insecurity. A woman who lacks confidence, who does not feel good about herself and is full of insecurities, might become paranoid at the mere mention of another woman, while another who is full of self-confidence and is comfortable with herself and with her relationship is far less likely to get concerned with straying eyes and a meaningless comment.
Before answering the question ‘why do guys cheat’ we need to understand as to what is normal behavior for a man. Can we get upset when a man enjoys a little flirtatious behavior or remarks on the good looks of super model if the act or comment hardly bears any substance? An innocent action that in no way impacts the way a man feels about his partner is harmless, it is how much he is and can be trusted to draw the line that matters.
Some guys are just born to cheat and it is in their very nature to sample what is on offer. Such men are hard pressed to form a lasting relationship but it is usually apparent from the onset as to what type of relationship a woman is letting herself in on. For some men cheating is a way to boost their ego with each additional invasion it keeps on enhancing their ego to go for more.
One of the most important factors that determines the difference between a good and bad man regarding fidelity is to take a look at his parents. Did he come from a loving family with monogamous parents as his example? It is a well-known fact that children learn by example, even if it is subconscious. Boys who are aware of their father’s infidelity, tend to eventually accept this behavior as normal, thus repeating the adulterous behavior as adults. The same goes for boys who witness their mother having affairs.
So why do women continue to be attracted to the “bad” guys who cheat? Perhaps it is because they secretly wish to tame or change them. It is so important for women to understand that if a guy cheats on a woman, there is a very good possibility he will cheat on you. However, women frequently think that they will be the exception or that the man cheated because he had good reasons. Men always have good reasons for cheating so ladies, do yourself a favor and pass up the bad cheating guys for the good faithful guys. He may not always be as exciting and dangerous, but love and trust always outweigh danger and excitement in the long run.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
According to Womansavers.com, 22% of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives, 70% of married women did not know of their spouses' extramarital activity, while another 3% of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse. In the year 1997, 22 percent of men admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage sometime in their past and 17 percent of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity.
At what point a woman believes her partner is cheating on her, is largely dependent on her level of insecurity. A woman who lacks confidence, who does not feel good about herself and is full of insecurities, might become paranoid at the mere mention of another woman, while another who is full of self-confidence and is comfortable with herself and with her relationship is far less likely to get concerned with straying eyes and a meaningless comment.
Before answering the question ‘why do guys cheat’ we need to understand as to what is normal behavior for a man. Can we get upset when a man enjoys a little flirtatious behavior or remarks on the good looks of super model if the act or comment hardly bears any substance? An innocent action that in no way impacts the way a man feels about his partner is harmless, it is how much he is and can be trusted to draw the line that matters.
Some guys are just born to cheat and it is in their very nature to sample what is on offer. Such men are hard pressed to form a lasting relationship but it is usually apparent from the onset as to what type of relationship a woman is letting herself in on. For some men cheating is a way to boost their ego with each additional invasion it keeps on enhancing their ego to go for more.
One of the most important factors that determines the difference between a good and bad man regarding fidelity is to take a look at his parents. Did he come from a loving family with monogamous parents as his example? It is a well-known fact that children learn by example, even if it is subconscious. Boys who are aware of their father’s infidelity, tend to eventually accept this behavior as normal, thus repeating the adulterous behavior as adults. The same goes for boys who witness their mother having affairs.
So why do women continue to be attracted to the “bad” guys who cheat? Perhaps it is because they secretly wish to tame or change them. It is so important for women to understand that if a guy cheats on a woman, there is a very good possibility he will cheat on you. However, women frequently think that they will be the exception or that the man cheated because he had good reasons. Men always have good reasons for cheating so ladies, do yourself a favor and pass up the bad cheating guys for the good faithful guys. He may not always be as exciting and dangerous, but love and trust always outweigh danger and excitement in the long run.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Are You Jealousy Person ?
Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be . . . but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.
Jealousy is something that can completely destroy your relationships. Where does it come from and what can you do about it? In relationships, there are four possibilities: neither of you are jealous, you are jealous of your partner but your partner is not jealous, your partner is jealous but you are not, or both of you are jealous. The first scenario poses no stress for the relationship, while the last three do.
You are Jealous and Your Partner Isn’t:
If you are jealous of your partner and he or she is not plagued by jealousy, then you feel you can’t trust the one you love. You are suspicious of his or her activities and you make accusations—either out loud or in your own mind. You have no trust and afford your partner very little, if any, privacy.
Your partner trusts you. He or she does not grill you with 10,000 questions about whom you were with and where you’ve been. You most likely interpret this as evidence of how little he or she cares about you when in actuality, the opposite is true.
Your Partner is Jealous but You Aren’t
Your partner is driving you crazy! He or she is smothering you. You love your partner but you can’t seem to be able to breathe. He or she wants to be with you all the time, is constantly asking you questions about who you are with and what you do, may want to check your cell phone and email to learn who you are communicating with, and generally doesn’t trust you out of his or her sight.
The first thing you must realize is that your partner may never change. I have seen couples who thought if they only got married, then the jealous partner could let go of his or her insecurity. This insecurity follows a person regardless of his or her marital status. If a person has a burning desire to change his or her jealous demeanor, then he or she must set about completing the necessary work to accomplish that but a marriage license is not the cure to jealousy.
So ask yourself, if your partner never changes and continues these jealous behaviors forever, is he or she still the person you want to be with? If the answer is yes, then you need to discover coping methods of being able to handle the constant suspicion and intrusions into your life. If the answer is no, then you need to devise a plan for ending, or at least diminishing the time you invest in the relationship.
Both of You are Jealous
In this situation, I would assess that both of you are functioning from either the need for power or the need for survival. You are either scared of being alone or you want to control the behavior of your loved one—neither of which is particularly healthy.
Your relationship could potentially last a long time. Since both of you are operating from the same place, you would not likely recognize the dysfunction. However, if you want more from your relationship, then you need to be able to visualize what life would be like if you were in a relationship with your partner or someone else and trust existed between you. You would need to recognize that there is something better and consciously set out to engage in behavior that will attract that kind of trust into your life.
When There’s been Cheating in the Past
If part of the problem is that one or both of you have already been unfaithful in the past, then some legitimate trust issues exist. If you were the one who cheated, attempt to understand your partner’s insecurity and suspicions at least initially. I have recommended that the person who has cheated allow his or her life to be an open book to his or her partner. Allow him or her access to your comings and goings to help him or her develop that security in your relationship again.
If you were the one whose partner cheated, then you are not off the hook. If your partner affords you the opportunity to really know what he or she is doing at all times in an attempt to reestablish trust between you, then you need to equally cooperate in your attempt to regain trust. You must be open to the idea that your partner is making amends and is truly sorry for his or her indiscretion. You need to give up your desire to punish or make him or her pay, and really get down to the business of rebuilding your relationship. Let go of your resentment and move forward.
Real love does not operate on the scarcity principle. In order to receive love, you must willingly give it. If you love someone and you want peace of mind, trust is the only way to go. If you later learn that your partner was unfaithful to you, then you have a decision to make but the surest way to ensure your partner cheats is to continue to accuse him or her of it.
Jealousy is like a cancer invading your relationship. It has the potential of being lethal. Do not allow jealousy to erode the trust, love and respect of your relationship.
Extending your faith and trust is a gift you give the person you love. If he or she is a person of honor, the gift will be protected and well cared for. If he or she is not, it will not be long and you will discover your partner’s true character. And when you do, you will have a decision to make. In the meantime, live in trust.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Jealousy is something that can completely destroy your relationships. Where does it come from and what can you do about it? In relationships, there are four possibilities: neither of you are jealous, you are jealous of your partner but your partner is not jealous, your partner is jealous but you are not, or both of you are jealous. The first scenario poses no stress for the relationship, while the last three do.
You are Jealous and Your Partner Isn’t:
If you are jealous of your partner and he or she is not plagued by jealousy, then you feel you can’t trust the one you love. You are suspicious of his or her activities and you make accusations—either out loud or in your own mind. You have no trust and afford your partner very little, if any, privacy.
Your partner trusts you. He or she does not grill you with 10,000 questions about whom you were with and where you’ve been. You most likely interpret this as evidence of how little he or she cares about you when in actuality, the opposite is true.
Your Partner is Jealous but You Aren’t
Your partner is driving you crazy! He or she is smothering you. You love your partner but you can’t seem to be able to breathe. He or she wants to be with you all the time, is constantly asking you questions about who you are with and what you do, may want to check your cell phone and email to learn who you are communicating with, and generally doesn’t trust you out of his or her sight.
The first thing you must realize is that your partner may never change. I have seen couples who thought if they only got married, then the jealous partner could let go of his or her insecurity. This insecurity follows a person regardless of his or her marital status. If a person has a burning desire to change his or her jealous demeanor, then he or she must set about completing the necessary work to accomplish that but a marriage license is not the cure to jealousy.
So ask yourself, if your partner never changes and continues these jealous behaviors forever, is he or she still the person you want to be with? If the answer is yes, then you need to discover coping methods of being able to handle the constant suspicion and intrusions into your life. If the answer is no, then you need to devise a plan for ending, or at least diminishing the time you invest in the relationship.
Both of You are Jealous
In this situation, I would assess that both of you are functioning from either the need for power or the need for survival. You are either scared of being alone or you want to control the behavior of your loved one—neither of which is particularly healthy.
Your relationship could potentially last a long time. Since both of you are operating from the same place, you would not likely recognize the dysfunction. However, if you want more from your relationship, then you need to be able to visualize what life would be like if you were in a relationship with your partner or someone else and trust existed between you. You would need to recognize that there is something better and consciously set out to engage in behavior that will attract that kind of trust into your life.
When There’s been Cheating in the Past
If part of the problem is that one or both of you have already been unfaithful in the past, then some legitimate trust issues exist. If you were the one who cheated, attempt to understand your partner’s insecurity and suspicions at least initially. I have recommended that the person who has cheated allow his or her life to be an open book to his or her partner. Allow him or her access to your comings and goings to help him or her develop that security in your relationship again.
If you were the one whose partner cheated, then you are not off the hook. If your partner affords you the opportunity to really know what he or she is doing at all times in an attempt to reestablish trust between you, then you need to equally cooperate in your attempt to regain trust. You must be open to the idea that your partner is making amends and is truly sorry for his or her indiscretion. You need to give up your desire to punish or make him or her pay, and really get down to the business of rebuilding your relationship. Let go of your resentment and move forward.
Real love does not operate on the scarcity principle. In order to receive love, you must willingly give it. If you love someone and you want peace of mind, trust is the only way to go. If you later learn that your partner was unfaithful to you, then you have a decision to make but the surest way to ensure your partner cheats is to continue to accuse him or her of it.
Jealousy is like a cancer invading your relationship. It has the potential of being lethal. Do not allow jealousy to erode the trust, love and respect of your relationship.
Extending your faith and trust is a gift you give the person you love. If he or she is a person of honor, the gift will be protected and well cared for. If he or she is not, it will not be long and you will discover your partner’s true character. And when you do, you will have a decision to make. In the meantime, live in trust.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
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