Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Things That Destroy Attraction And Lead A Man To Say “I’m Not Ready For A Relationship And How To Avoid Them

Have you ever met a man where you both connected deeply, things moved fast because it felt so right, but then the unthinkable happened when you finally talked one day… and he said that he actually wasn't that “into” you and a relationship after all… even though his thoughts, behavior and feelings told you an entirely different story about him all along?

They key to avoiding this is to learn both how attraction is created and destroyed.

It's a pain, but once a man decides that you're the “I'm just not ready for a relationship” girl to him (translation: you acted predictable and lack emotional intelligence enough to prove that you're going to be less and less comfortable, fun and easygoing as time goes on) then that's it…

You don't want to create this feeling or idea in a man's head and kill the deeper level attraction he could feel for you.

It’s crucial that you learn how to “keep the ball in the air” and keep the attraction building not just physically, but emotionally which is the trickiest part with a man.

It’s also crucial that you learn how to easily and almost effortlessly keep a man feeling that intense desire and attraction Inside a Relationship… and not just in the early dating stages.

Thanks

How To Give A Man That Forever Feeling So He Knows Beyond A Shadow Of A Doubt That You Are The Perfect Woman For Him

After years of research, and talking to hundreds of both men and women about what is important to them in a loving, connected relationship I've found that there are 5 things a woman must understand in order to make a man feel those special feelings for her.
Simply put, a woman who understands these 5 things never has problems with men becoming distant or pulling away… her main problem is usually men wanting to get too serious, too fast!

On the other hand, failure to understand these things will hurt your chances of finding, attracting, and staying connected with a man over the long-term… no matter how infatuated he may be with you in the “honeymoon stage Here they are:

How attraction works for men and how to create the feeling of attraction inside a man in a way that awakens more than just his physical senses and short term interest

The main thing you must understand to guarantee the man you want to be with feels the same way about you is attraction. More specifically how attraction works for men.
Sadly, most women will never figure this out and end up sabotaging their chances of experiencing a loving relationship with the man they want… without ever realizing what they did wrong. Have you ever thought about what attraction really is?

The fact is that most of us have never considered the nature of attraction and how it works.

Think about it for a minute. What is “attraction” anyway? And what does it have to do with love? Or lust?

This motivated me to spend the last few years studying, researching, and observing to build a clear map and picture of how attraction works in both the short and long term so that I could share my understanding and help others.

Of course simply knowing what attraction is isn't enough. What’s really important, if you want things to grow and last with a man, is knowing how to create it.

If you want to take a man from “Hello…” to a first date, to meeting you again, to talking and sharing deeper things about each other, to attraction, to more “lasting attraction”, to intimacy… and all the way to “I have to tell you that I love you”… then you're going to have to get the hang of turning up the level of attraction a man is feeling for you and knowing how and when to dial it up and down…

Men respond to anticipation, tension, and other ingredients of attraction. And if used correctly, they will amplify each other leading to a very strong, deep level of attraction.

If you want men to feel that gut level attraction inside that's more than the “she's cute or hot enough to date for a little while” that some guys feel, then you're going to need to evolve for yourself a new understanding of how communication works.

And get this: A woman who learns to create this kind of attraction and make a man feel these feelings will not only have a closer, more open and “connected” man, but she'll also have a better long-term partner… a partner who will often figure out and deal with some of the “natural” challenges that come up in relationships for her.

In other words, you won't have to be the one doing all the work anymore to keep the relationship alive. The relationship won't just die or fall apart if you stop compensating for him. You won't have all that “weight” that comes with being the only one in a relationship who cares enough to think about, analyze and learn how to get past the common but dangerous “issues” in a real, honest, loving relationship.

Again, the good news is that this is fairly easy to learn… and when you get this down… and know how to create a gut level attraction inside a man that leads to him feeling an intense and lasting desire to be with you… everything else will just fall into place.

Thanks

The Secret Reason A Man Will Never Tell You About Why He Didn’t Want You

Although what I’m about to tell you may upset you, it’s actually good news.
Here it is: When a man pulls away from a woman, it is not because men are screwed up.
And… it’s not because he has doubts about being in a relationship. It’s because he has doubts about being in a serious relationship with that particular woman.

Something is missing with that woman that makes him think that she is not the one for him to settle down with… and that he can do better…

Here’s something else you should know… When this happens, it’s usually never over a little thing.

It’s also almost never because a man isn’t attracted to you physically if that was the case, he wouldn’t have gotten that close to you in the first place.

It also doesn’t necessarily mean that he wasn’t at least somewhat attracted to you emotionally…

What it does mean is that there wasn’t enough attraction there to lead him to feel that you were the one for him.

So was there anything you could have done about it?

The answer is yes. And the good news is that it’s actually quite simple to give a man that powerful “gut feeling” that tells him you are the one.It all comes down to understanding just a few important things about men.

Thanks

Why Men Pull Away From Some Women But Not From Others ?

When someone we care about rejects our efforts to become closer to them, it’s not a fun feeling. But an even worse feeling than that is not knowing why. 

Of course, the men in these situations are rarely any help. They will usually try to explain themselves by saying dumb things like. It's not you, it's me. Or another predictable male excuse such as, I'm just not ready for a serious relationship.
 

I know this very well because I've been “that guy” in the past…
I’ve been the guy who withdraws… the kind who spontaneously gets “scared” when a relationship gets close and intimate… and the kind of guy that can make a real, close, loving, lasting relationship seem impossible.
 

I’ll admit it. I know all about “that guy”… because that guy has been me.
 

But let me let you in on a couple of secrets… the first of which you might already know:

The “excuses” I mentioned above, and all of the rest of the common “man excuses are a bunch of b.s.

Deep down, 99% of all men are ready for a relationship… and would love to find that special woman… someone with whom they could finally let their guard down, and experience true love.

Trust me on this one. I’ve known more than a few “players”… and while some men will date several women at once, it’s only because they haven’t met the one they are really looking for.
 

In fact… over the years I’ve seen every one of these guys bring their playing to a screeching halt when they met someone they were really into. I’m sure you’ve seen this happen with guys you know…
 

I’m also embarrassed to admit it, but I’ve actually said both of the “excuses” I mentioned above on more than one occasion… and after the perspective I’ve gained from years of understanding myself and other men, I finally realized that I never actually meant it when I said it… and neither do other men.
 

You know what I’m talking about here from experience… When a man says one thing, but you intuitively know it’s another… but he can never see it for himself, no matter how hard you try and show or convince him.
 

The reality is that I, and most other men, have never pulled away from a woman because I wasn’t “ready for a relationship”… or because I “got nervous” or “wanted to take things slow”… although that’s all we could see to understand about ourselves and communicate at the time.
 

A female friend of mine recently had the unfortunate experience of having a man pull away from her because he “wasn’t ready for something serious”… only to jump into a serious relationship with another woman just a few weeks later. 

Hmm!! So why do men pull away from certain women… but fall head over heels for others? Let me let you in on another little secret.
 

Thanks

How To Finding Love On-Line

Finding Love On-Line.Could it really be this easy to create a lasting connection with a man that goes far beyond physical attraction and sparks a deep emotional bond inside him to where he feels literally addicted to being with you, and only you, forever?

The answer is yes and if you want to eliminate all the insecurity that can come from losing the guy you really want, and start experiencing the love, attention, and respect you deserve from a man, regardless of his emotional hang-ups then this will be the most important letter you’ll ever read.
Well, I have some important questions for you. Think carefully as you answer
Have you ever had a man you were interested in---maybe even someone you really cared about all of a sudden become “distant” and withdrawn… and you just couldn’t figure out why?
Can you remember a time when you began to develop strong feelings for a man and knew you wanted to be with him and only him but he seemed ambivalent and wishy-washy about the situation and it drove you nuts?
Have you ever dated a man who was afraid to commit to you… and even he didn’t really know why?
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with a man who took you for granted or just didn’t value you as a person?
Are you apprehensive about giving yourself emotionally and physically to a man because you fear that he won’t do the same? Or worse… that he’ll only do it partially and then just leave… for what seems like no reason at all?
Have you ever known that you and a guy would be perfect together… but for reasons you cannot explain, he just couldn’t see it?
Do you ever feel like all men are the same to the point where it makes you just want to give up?
Do you fear that you won’t be physically satisfying or attractive to a man after months or years in a relationship… and that he won’t be as attracted and in love with you after many years together?
Do you ever fear that your man might end up with someone else?
Do you secretly fear that you may never experience the passionate life-long love you dream about… and that you might end up lonely and alone?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I have some important news for you. The news is that you are not alone.

In fact, that list of questions was created from talking to literally hundreds of women about the problems they were facing in their love lives.

It’s a fact: Relationships with men so often start off hot and heavy but then quickly and unexpectedly turn ice-cold

Nearly all women have had the experience of feeling like they’ve finally found something “real” with a man… and sharing themselves both emotionally and physically… only to have him suddenly pull away.

And what’s worse when this happens, there often seems to be no explanation and no good reason at all.

These types of situations make it easy to feel pessimistic towards men in general and can definitely lead you to believe all men are just “screwed up”

But is that the real truth? Are men really too messed up to experience a mature, healthy, loving relationship? Is there any hope?
.Could it really be this easy to create a lasting connection with a man that goes far beyond physical attraction and sparks a deep emotional bond inside him to where he feels literally addicted to being with you, and only you, forever?

The answer is yes and if you want to eliminate all the insecurity that can come from losing the guy you really want, and start experiencing the love, attention, and respect you deserve from a man, regardless of his emotional hang-ups then this will be the most important letter you’ll ever read…
Well, I have some important questions for you. Think carefully as you answer
Have you ever had a man you were interested in---maybe even someone you really cared about all of a sudden become “distant” and withdrawn… and you just couldn’t figure out why?
Can you remember a time when you began to develop strong feelings for a man and knew you wanted to be with him and only him but he seemed ambivalent and wishy-washy about the situation and it drove you nuts?
Have you ever dated a man who was afraid to commit to you… and even he didn’t really know why?
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with a man who took you for granted or just didn’t value you as a person?
Are you apprehensive about giving yourself emotionally and physically to a man because you fear that he won’t do the same? Or worse… that he’ll only do it partially and then just leave… for what seems like no reason at all?
Have you ever known that you and a guy would be perfect together… but for reasons you cannot explain, he just couldn’t see it?
Do you ever feel like all men are the same to the point where it makes you just want to give up?
Do you fear that you won’t be physically satisfying or attractive to a man after months or years in a relationship… and that he won’t be as attracted and in love with you after many years together?
Do you ever fear that your man might end up with someone else?
Do you secretly fear that you may never experience the passionate life-long love you dream about… and that you might end up lonely and alone?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I have some important news for you. The news is that you are not alone.

In fact, that list of questions was created from talking to literally hundreds of women about the problems they were facing in their love lives.

It’s a fact: Relationships with men so often start off hot and heavy but then quickly and unexpectedly turn ice-cold

Nearly all women have had the experience of feeling like they’ve finally found something “real” with a man… and sharing themselves both emotionally and physically… only to have him suddenly pull away.

And what’s worse when this happens, there often seems to be no explanation and no good reason at all.

These types of situations make it easy to feel pessimistic towards men in general and can definitely lead you to believe all men are just “screwed up”

But is that the real truth? Are men really too messed up to experience a mature, healthy, loving relationship? Is there any hope?

Thanks

Thursday, February 12, 2009

How To Make A Man Fall In Love With You

Dear Reader,

If you want to make a man fall in love with you... Or you want to get that "spark" back in your relationship, check this out-

There is one thing that is likely holding you back from the relationship of your dreams: you. I know that sounds harsh, but let me explain.

What if you, your thoughts and your actions were the biggest obstacle to letting love into your life?
And what if the most certain and fool-proof way to make sure you attract the right man and create the right relationship didn't have anything to do with spending your time trying to figure out what’s going on with him...
But instead had everything to do with what was going on inside of you?
When it comes to love and relationships, if you haven't laid the groundwork for yourself first, odds are you're not going to experience any kind of lasting love and happiness- no matter how "perfect" your man is, or how hard you try to make your relationship work.
In fact, the harder you try, the farther love and a fun and "flowing" relationship will move away from you. Why is this? The short answer is that love is not a destination.
Love is not something that you'll one day "get right" and arrive at and enjoy forever. You can't force love to come together and take place- especially with a man. Love is a process. And so are relationships.

And because of this, love requires that if you want the best possible relationship... then you have to engage in love from the best possible place within yourself, everyday.

What you give really is what you get, like it or not.
This is part of the secret of creating and sharing an amazing level of love and affection in your life with a man-
You have to bring your very best self to everything you do with a man, and in your relationship.

And that includes not just what you say and do around a man... but the feelings and emotions you go on inside you that are what drives what you say and do with a man.

Your relationship with a man is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself, and the feelings and emotions you carry inside.

What are you carrying inside that you can't or don't want to talk about or share?
How is this really at the heart of what's holding you back and getting in your way.
The strangest part is, what seems like the thing that will hurt the most (confronting the
things we don't want to think about)... is the very thing that will set us free and open us up to something bigger and better.

If you're carrying fear and pain from your past, then you'll create distance between you and a man... and you'll unknowingly push him away with your worries and anxiety.
But...
If you show up everyday with an open, loving, and compassionate heart... and you radiate the things that are part of your "best self"... a man won't be able to keep himself from being drawn to you- and you'll attract him effortlessly from the inside out.
And when you can do this, you'll be amazed at how quickly even the most difficult and impossible seeming situations suddenly turn into moments of learning, growth, and deeper connection.

"Disagreements" turn into opportunities where you and a man learn more about how you both really feel and start understanding each other better.

"Fights" turn into ways that you both break out of your old patterns and grow incredible new connections.

"Uncertainty" turns into the very essence of the excitement that keeps you both coming back to each other to learn and discover more... and move to deeper levels of love and appreciation.

But you can't even begin to get there and turn these things around in your relationship if you haven’t put yourself in the right "state" first.

You have to put yourself in the right place in your heart and mind before a man is going to experience the kind of love and attraction he needs to feel with you for your relationship to grow close and last.

This amazing program will help you overcome the personal challenges that are keeping you from experiencing true love and intimacy. And it will help you do it right away.

You'll learn how to let go of the painful stories that still cause you heartache and pain, even in new relationships. You'll learn how to break the self-destructive habits that are making it impossible for you to create an open, loving relationship with a man.
You'll learn how to rid your life of the insecurity, worry, and hesitation that often drives men away but you don't feel like you can do anything about.

Let me help you discover a way to regain your own feminine "power" and shift your mindset from looking for the right guy to being the right woman who is ready to welcome love into her life and a man can't resist.

Because if you wait around for a man to be the one to help you get your heart, your mind, and your love life together... you might be waiting a while.

So, take the time to be in the right place for yourself first... and the right man and the right relationship will follow. I know it.

I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in life and love, I want to know how I can improve my materials even more and help you live the life filled with love and joy you deserve.

Thank You

The Myth of Choices And The Paradox Of Attraction

I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand the message that we're communicating to others...So often we think that because we want to communicate a message, that others are going to naturally understand what we're trying to say.

Have you ever seen a woman who dresses over-the-top sexy and wears way to much make-up? Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don't think that her appearance is communicating the message to men that she thinks it is”...?Yeah, I have too.

Well, here's the deal:If you do something to “let a man know how you feel” ... but he isn't open to the situation at that time, or he isn't attracted to you, then it's going to backfire.
It's going to trigger a feeling for the man, that I like to call the “Instant Ewww”.
The “Instant Ewww” is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of attraction. Once a man feels it, you're done. It’s over. It’s like hammering a railroad spike into the coffin.

Once a man feels the “Instant Ewww”, he'll start behaving differently. In short, he'll back off or even disappear. So where did I get the concept of the “Instant Ewww”?I got it from watching women.

I have actually heard several women use the word “Ewww”, when describing how they felt about a guy that was “confessing his love”... and of course, these were guys that weren't loved in return by the woman.

Men do the same kind of thing with a woman they're not attracted to.

Often they try to be “nice” about it. They let the attention pump up their ego a bit, and then they create what is often an unconscious barrier in their mind, that closes off communication or contact with her.

And the resulting vacuum sound you hear, is what's happening as any attraction and interest he might have felt, evaporates.

So what causes the “Instant Ewww”?

And why would a man feel it, towards a woman who was trying to be nice... a woman who was giving him attention, a gift or telling him how she feels?

Because if you think about it from his perspective, you'll realize that the moment you do something to “confess”, you've created a turning point in the relationship.

Up until that point, you were harmless. I mean, men know when they are getting some “special attention” from a woman. And they usually know it from the beginning.

But now that you've started pursuing him and talking about how you feel, you've created a negative tension that can be very uncomfortable. You’ve triggered an emotion that can actually repel a man and make him even more detached from his emotions.
Here's the thing...

You can't “make a man like you” or “change how he feels about you”, by doing nice things for him. Doing “nice” things for a man who isn't attracted to you, hurts you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the “Instant Ewww” feeling, that makes it so he'll perhaps never like you.

Men are the worst at this, by the way. They make this mistake over and over again in life, because they're doing what makes sense to them. They're doing it, because they don't have an understanding of attraction.

I mean, if you have a friend and you like them, and you want to make them like you more... and you do some nice things for them, they will probably like you more.
On the other hand...

If you have a man that you “like” in a romantic way, and he doesn't “feel it” for you, and you do something nice for him, because you want him to like you more, it will backfire... and he will not only not like you more, but he will most likely distance himself from you.
Women think that they need to communicate verbally when they like a man... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a guy.

In their minds, it goes like this: Like him.Tell him you like him>He likes you
Well, remember... if you follow this pattern, yourself, with men who aren't already attracted to you, then it's going to backfire. If he's not into you, then it goes like this:
He thinks of you as a friend.You tell him you like him>He gets the “Instant Ewwws” and withdraws...


THE ANSWER

There are really two answers to this problem. The first answer, is what to do if you're in a situation where you like a particular guy, but you don't know if he likes you back. don’t get heavy with him.

Don't buy him a big gift, do something nice to show him how much you think about him or write him a love letter...Don't send him a note to his work that says, “From your secret admirer”.

Don't call him several times, without hearing from him. And don't confess your love for him. If you want to know how he feels about you, do something to attract him and see how he reacts instead of telling him you love him and hearing the crickets chirp as you wait for his response.

As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than him. Use signals from him to find out how he feels... and if you don't know how to read and create those signals, then learn. Asking a man if he's interested in you in a romantic way, or if you are “his type”, will actually destroy the chances that his attraction and interest in you will grow.

Really. The second answer, is to not get into this particular situation in the first place. Avoid it entirely. And how does one do that? One does that by creating attraction from the beginning. One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why men have the physical and emotional response of attraction triggered.

One does that by knowing what you're doing from the beginning. And what's the best way to learn that skill? I thought you'd never ask...Well, I've written about attraction before and I'll write about it again.