One of the most painful experiences one undergoes in life is discovering your boyfriend or husband is a cheating guy. It becomes even more painful if you strongly care about, or deeply love, him. Why guys cheat is a question that demands a deep and introspective research and before we start we have to clarify what we really mean by cheating. Cheating to some people may be simple glances at a good looking woman as she walks down the street or thinking about that sexy looking number that is displayed on the calendar or thinking ‘if only I am single’.
According to Womansavers.com, 22% of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives, 70% of married women did not know of their spouses' extramarital activity, while another 3% of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse. In the year 1997, 22 percent of men admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage sometime in their past and 17 percent of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity.
At what point a woman believes her partner is cheating on her, is largely dependent on her level of insecurity. A woman who lacks confidence, who does not feel good about herself and is full of insecurities, might become paranoid at the mere mention of another woman, while another who is full of self-confidence and is comfortable with herself and with her relationship is far less likely to get concerned with straying eyes and a meaningless comment.
Before answering the question ‘why do guys cheat’ we need to understand as to what is normal behavior for a man. Can we get upset when a man enjoys a little flirtatious behavior or remarks on the good looks of super model if the act or comment hardly bears any substance? An innocent action that in no way impacts the way a man feels about his partner is harmless, it is how much he is and can be trusted to draw the line that matters.
Some guys are just born to cheat and it is in their very nature to sample what is on offer. Such men are hard pressed to form a lasting relationship but it is usually apparent from the onset as to what type of relationship a woman is letting herself in on. For some men cheating is a way to boost their ego with each additional invasion it keeps on enhancing their ego to go for more.
One of the most important factors that determines the difference between a good and bad man regarding fidelity is to take a look at his parents. Did he come from a loving family with monogamous parents as his example? It is a well-known fact that children learn by example, even if it is subconscious. Boys who are aware of their father’s infidelity, tend to eventually accept this behavior as normal, thus repeating the adulterous behavior as adults. The same goes for boys who witness their mother having affairs.
So why do women continue to be attracted to the “bad” guys who cheat? Perhaps it is because they secretly wish to tame or change them. It is so important for women to understand that if a guy cheats on a woman, there is a very good possibility he will cheat on you. However, women frequently think that they will be the exception or that the man cheated because he had good reasons. Men always have good reasons for cheating so ladies, do yourself a favor and pass up the bad cheating guys for the good faithful guys. He may not always be as exciting and dangerous, but love and trust always outweigh danger and excitement in the long run.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Friday, April 3, 2009
Are You Jealousy Person ?
Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be . . . but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.
Jealousy is something that can completely destroy your relationships. Where does it come from and what can you do about it? In relationships, there are four possibilities: neither of you are jealous, you are jealous of your partner but your partner is not jealous, your partner is jealous but you are not, or both of you are jealous. The first scenario poses no stress for the relationship, while the last three do.
You are Jealous and Your Partner Isn’t:
If you are jealous of your partner and he or she is not plagued by jealousy, then you feel you can’t trust the one you love. You are suspicious of his or her activities and you make accusations—either out loud or in your own mind. You have no trust and afford your partner very little, if any, privacy.
Your partner trusts you. He or she does not grill you with 10,000 questions about whom you were with and where you’ve been. You most likely interpret this as evidence of how little he or she cares about you when in actuality, the opposite is true.
Your Partner is Jealous but You Aren’t
Your partner is driving you crazy! He or she is smothering you. You love your partner but you can’t seem to be able to breathe. He or she wants to be with you all the time, is constantly asking you questions about who you are with and what you do, may want to check your cell phone and email to learn who you are communicating with, and generally doesn’t trust you out of his or her sight.
The first thing you must realize is that your partner may never change. I have seen couples who thought if they only got married, then the jealous partner could let go of his or her insecurity. This insecurity follows a person regardless of his or her marital status. If a person has a burning desire to change his or her jealous demeanor, then he or she must set about completing the necessary work to accomplish that but a marriage license is not the cure to jealousy.
So ask yourself, if your partner never changes and continues these jealous behaviors forever, is he or she still the person you want to be with? If the answer is yes, then you need to discover coping methods of being able to handle the constant suspicion and intrusions into your life. If the answer is no, then you need to devise a plan for ending, or at least diminishing the time you invest in the relationship.
Both of You are Jealous
In this situation, I would assess that both of you are functioning from either the need for power or the need for survival. You are either scared of being alone or you want to control the behavior of your loved one—neither of which is particularly healthy.
Your relationship could potentially last a long time. Since both of you are operating from the same place, you would not likely recognize the dysfunction. However, if you want more from your relationship, then you need to be able to visualize what life would be like if you were in a relationship with your partner or someone else and trust existed between you. You would need to recognize that there is something better and consciously set out to engage in behavior that will attract that kind of trust into your life.
When There’s been Cheating in the Past
If part of the problem is that one or both of you have already been unfaithful in the past, then some legitimate trust issues exist. If you were the one who cheated, attempt to understand your partner’s insecurity and suspicions at least initially. I have recommended that the person who has cheated allow his or her life to be an open book to his or her partner. Allow him or her access to your comings and goings to help him or her develop that security in your relationship again.
If you were the one whose partner cheated, then you are not off the hook. If your partner affords you the opportunity to really know what he or she is doing at all times in an attempt to reestablish trust between you, then you need to equally cooperate in your attempt to regain trust. You must be open to the idea that your partner is making amends and is truly sorry for his or her indiscretion. You need to give up your desire to punish or make him or her pay, and really get down to the business of rebuilding your relationship. Let go of your resentment and move forward.
Real love does not operate on the scarcity principle. In order to receive love, you must willingly give it. If you love someone and you want peace of mind, trust is the only way to go. If you later learn that your partner was unfaithful to you, then you have a decision to make but the surest way to ensure your partner cheats is to continue to accuse him or her of it.
Jealousy is like a cancer invading your relationship. It has the potential of being lethal. Do not allow jealousy to erode the trust, love and respect of your relationship.
Extending your faith and trust is a gift you give the person you love. If he or she is a person of honor, the gift will be protected and well cared for. If he or she is not, it will not be long and you will discover your partner’s true character. And when you do, you will have a decision to make. In the meantime, live in trust.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Jealousy is something that can completely destroy your relationships. Where does it come from and what can you do about it? In relationships, there are four possibilities: neither of you are jealous, you are jealous of your partner but your partner is not jealous, your partner is jealous but you are not, or both of you are jealous. The first scenario poses no stress for the relationship, while the last three do.
You are Jealous and Your Partner Isn’t:
If you are jealous of your partner and he or she is not plagued by jealousy, then you feel you can’t trust the one you love. You are suspicious of his or her activities and you make accusations—either out loud or in your own mind. You have no trust and afford your partner very little, if any, privacy.
Your partner trusts you. He or she does not grill you with 10,000 questions about whom you were with and where you’ve been. You most likely interpret this as evidence of how little he or she cares about you when in actuality, the opposite is true.
Your Partner is Jealous but You Aren’t
Your partner is driving you crazy! He or she is smothering you. You love your partner but you can’t seem to be able to breathe. He or she wants to be with you all the time, is constantly asking you questions about who you are with and what you do, may want to check your cell phone and email to learn who you are communicating with, and generally doesn’t trust you out of his or her sight.
The first thing you must realize is that your partner may never change. I have seen couples who thought if they only got married, then the jealous partner could let go of his or her insecurity. This insecurity follows a person regardless of his or her marital status. If a person has a burning desire to change his or her jealous demeanor, then he or she must set about completing the necessary work to accomplish that but a marriage license is not the cure to jealousy.
So ask yourself, if your partner never changes and continues these jealous behaviors forever, is he or she still the person you want to be with? If the answer is yes, then you need to discover coping methods of being able to handle the constant suspicion and intrusions into your life. If the answer is no, then you need to devise a plan for ending, or at least diminishing the time you invest in the relationship.
Both of You are Jealous
In this situation, I would assess that both of you are functioning from either the need for power or the need for survival. You are either scared of being alone or you want to control the behavior of your loved one—neither of which is particularly healthy.
Your relationship could potentially last a long time. Since both of you are operating from the same place, you would not likely recognize the dysfunction. However, if you want more from your relationship, then you need to be able to visualize what life would be like if you were in a relationship with your partner or someone else and trust existed between you. You would need to recognize that there is something better and consciously set out to engage in behavior that will attract that kind of trust into your life.
When There’s been Cheating in the Past
If part of the problem is that one or both of you have already been unfaithful in the past, then some legitimate trust issues exist. If you were the one who cheated, attempt to understand your partner’s insecurity and suspicions at least initially. I have recommended that the person who has cheated allow his or her life to be an open book to his or her partner. Allow him or her access to your comings and goings to help him or her develop that security in your relationship again.
If you were the one whose partner cheated, then you are not off the hook. If your partner affords you the opportunity to really know what he or she is doing at all times in an attempt to reestablish trust between you, then you need to equally cooperate in your attempt to regain trust. You must be open to the idea that your partner is making amends and is truly sorry for his or her indiscretion. You need to give up your desire to punish or make him or her pay, and really get down to the business of rebuilding your relationship. Let go of your resentment and move forward.
Real love does not operate on the scarcity principle. In order to receive love, you must willingly give it. If you love someone and you want peace of mind, trust is the only way to go. If you later learn that your partner was unfaithful to you, then you have a decision to make but the surest way to ensure your partner cheats is to continue to accuse him or her of it.
Jealousy is like a cancer invading your relationship. It has the potential of being lethal. Do not allow jealousy to erode the trust, love and respect of your relationship.
Extending your faith and trust is a gift you give the person you love. If he or she is a person of honor, the gift will be protected and well cared for. If he or she is not, it will not be long and you will discover your partner’s true character. And when you do, you will have a decision to make. In the meantime, live in trust.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Sex Mistakes to Avoid if You Want to Be a Better Lover
There is no doubt that many of us today would think that with all the information there is about good sex more people would be better at pleasing their partners when they make love. Sadly, a lot of folks pay little attention to how they can become a better lover.
It isn’t that difficult to learn how to make love. Developing a good technique takes patience and practice. But it also means avoiding several things when you get into the bedroom for sex. Believe it or not, these are actual problems clients tell sex therapists that their partners do that annoys them.
1#. Waiting until your partner is trapped under the sheets to initiate sex. Really, now, do you lack so much sexual imagination that the only way you can get your partner to have sex with you is to wait until you are in bed and your partner has nowhere else to go? Let your partner know you’re thinking about making love to them by giving them some extra hugs and kisses, telling them what they mean to you, and pitching in to help so that your partner isn’t dead tired at night when you want to make love.
2#. Taking less than ten minutes for foreplay. There’s nothing wrong with quick sex, but expecting your partner to be ready just because you are is a little silly. If you’re partner is willing to make love, give them a warm-up. Kiss, lick, suck, and nuzzle your partner in all the places that make them melt. It doesn’t take that much effort to get your partner excited about sex.
3#. Forgetting what your partner likes in bed. Look, part of way to be a great lover is not to rely on what you think your partner might like, but to find out what really makes them hot and then doing it again. Even bigger mistake? Doing things your partner definitely dislikes. You need to develop a sort of mental sex Rolodex and remember what your partner enjoys.
4#. Annoying your partner with stupid sex jokes. Hey, if you’re both in the mood for some giggles, then joke away. But if your partner has told you about a need to be held close and loved up, then ditch the dirty jokes as foreplay.
5#. Not taking the time to learn lovemaking techniques. Just because you’ve been with your partner awhile, doesn’t mean your lovemaking techniques are topnotch. There’s always something new to learn—a new touch, a new kiss, a new position, a new fantasy. If you think sex has gotten a little stale, take some responsibility and learn something new.
6#. Jumping up immediately after sex to do something else. Is there anything tackier than finishing up sex and getting up to change the laundry from the washer to the dryer or letting Fido out for the night? Make sure your partner knows that you appreciated the time you spent making love before moving on to real life matters.
7#. Not taking a shower or brushing your teeth before you make love. ‘Nuf said. Unless your partner likes truly “dirty” sex, clean up your act before you make a move.
Sex isn’t rocket science. It doesn’t take a genius to be a good lover. Just by avoiding the above listed mistakes, your partner will think you’re really good in bed.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
It isn’t that difficult to learn how to make love. Developing a good technique takes patience and practice. But it also means avoiding several things when you get into the bedroom for sex. Believe it or not, these are actual problems clients tell sex therapists that their partners do that annoys them.
1#. Waiting until your partner is trapped under the sheets to initiate sex. Really, now, do you lack so much sexual imagination that the only way you can get your partner to have sex with you is to wait until you are in bed and your partner has nowhere else to go? Let your partner know you’re thinking about making love to them by giving them some extra hugs and kisses, telling them what they mean to you, and pitching in to help so that your partner isn’t dead tired at night when you want to make love.
2#. Taking less than ten minutes for foreplay. There’s nothing wrong with quick sex, but expecting your partner to be ready just because you are is a little silly. If you’re partner is willing to make love, give them a warm-up. Kiss, lick, suck, and nuzzle your partner in all the places that make them melt. It doesn’t take that much effort to get your partner excited about sex.
3#. Forgetting what your partner likes in bed. Look, part of way to be a great lover is not to rely on what you think your partner might like, but to find out what really makes them hot and then doing it again. Even bigger mistake? Doing things your partner definitely dislikes. You need to develop a sort of mental sex Rolodex and remember what your partner enjoys.
4#. Annoying your partner with stupid sex jokes. Hey, if you’re both in the mood for some giggles, then joke away. But if your partner has told you about a need to be held close and loved up, then ditch the dirty jokes as foreplay.
5#. Not taking the time to learn lovemaking techniques. Just because you’ve been with your partner awhile, doesn’t mean your lovemaking techniques are topnotch. There’s always something new to learn—a new touch, a new kiss, a new position, a new fantasy. If you think sex has gotten a little stale, take some responsibility and learn something new.
6#. Jumping up immediately after sex to do something else. Is there anything tackier than finishing up sex and getting up to change the laundry from the washer to the dryer or letting Fido out for the night? Make sure your partner knows that you appreciated the time you spent making love before moving on to real life matters.
7#. Not taking a shower or brushing your teeth before you make love. ‘Nuf said. Unless your partner likes truly “dirty” sex, clean up your act before you make a move.
Sex isn’t rocket science. It doesn’t take a genius to be a good lover. Just by avoiding the above listed mistakes, your partner will think you’re really good in bed.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
The Top Ten Surefire Signs Of A Cheating Wife
The surefire signs of a cheating wife are subtly different to those of a cheating husband. Statistics tell us that 50% of men who think their partner is cheating are right.
If you suspect your wife might be cheating on you behind your back here are 10 signs that you need to look out for:
1#. She pays more attention to her appearance. This could be with her changing her hairstyle, changing her perfume, taking more time doing her hair and nails, or buying new clothes.
2#. She makes a conscious effort to lose weight. This might also involve her joining an exercise or yoga class.
3#. She spends more time 'out with the girls' or having a drink after work.
4#. She takes up a new activity such as enrolling on a course or an evening class.
5. She buys you little gifts. This could be a way to keep you off the scent or just because she's feeling guilty.
6#. You notice a difference in your sex life (better, worse or just different).
7#. You detect smells of aftershave on her clothes which is different to the type you use.
8#. She gets more private when taking phone calls, either by going into a different room to speak or leaving the house soon after the phone rings.
9#. She starts receiving suspicious voicemail messages, or you notice new cell phone numbers stored and dialed.
10#. She spends more time online than before.
These signs of a cheating wife may not mean anything in isolation, but if you notice a number of them happening you should take them as a warning sign that there's probably something going on.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for
everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
If you suspect your wife might be cheating on you behind your back here are 10 signs that you need to look out for:
1#. She pays more attention to her appearance. This could be with her changing her hairstyle, changing her perfume, taking more time doing her hair and nails, or buying new clothes.
2#. She makes a conscious effort to lose weight. This might also involve her joining an exercise or yoga class.
3#. She spends more time 'out with the girls' or having a drink after work.
4#. She takes up a new activity such as enrolling on a course or an evening class.
5. She buys you little gifts. This could be a way to keep you off the scent or just because she's feeling guilty.
6#. You notice a difference in your sex life (better, worse or just different).
7#. You detect smells of aftershave on her clothes which is different to the type you use.
8#. She gets more private when taking phone calls, either by going into a different room to speak or leaving the house soon after the phone rings.
9#. She starts receiving suspicious voicemail messages, or you notice new cell phone numbers stored and dialed.
10#. She spends more time online than before.
These signs of a cheating wife may not mean anything in isolation, but if you notice a number of them happening you should take them as a warning sign that there's probably something going on.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for
everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Dating a Married Man - Make Him Yours or Get out of this Addiction Fast !!!
Dating a married man!!! Being the other woman is one of the hardest thing in the world. I remember couple years ago a friend of mine let herself blindly get involved in a relationship with a cheating husband.
She didn't like him at first and no matter what excuse she threw to herself, it's nothing to do with how or why it started. It was more like..."hey I'm stuck Now".
What's worse is that he looked better in her eyes as days go by, and she started to tolerate a lot more things (no gifts for her birthday, lonely christmas and holiday times, splitting the bill or picking up his bills, lonely weekends etc). She didn't see him for who he was: a cheating husband.
He put up with every single one of the traditional married man excuse such as 'It's hard to just leave my marriage', 'if I easily leave my current marriage you will think bad of me -
but I'll do it sometime since you're so special'...'I'm not in love with my wife..we're heading for separation Soon'...etc.
After 2 more years she started to regain a little of her brain consciousness. She started to realise that he was a married man, a cheating husband! Even so, she couldn't let go of him because she thought he loved her to the max. He even let her believe that she was her soulmate and more sweet words started to come out of his mouth.
So she decided to be her 'friend' and didn't want to take things further than that. Oh come on, she didn't think he could even think straight in the first place...
Finally, she took all her courage together, bought a few of the break up books available on the market "It's called a break up because it's broken by Greg and
Amiira Behrendt"), silently making a plan in her head to stop having a relationship with a married man.
She knew that even if losing him would cause a pain so great, staying with him was wasting her heart, emotion, and time. So she had to do what's good and she had to get out of it altogether.
Okay, let me share what she did and what steps you can take to stop dealing with a cheating husband and stop dating a married man:
1#. Tell him "Action speaks louder than words" and if he loves you he should want to make you happy. You are clearly not happy being stuck in a limbo state and he really should be willing to meet your needs. (If he cannot adhere to that, you know his words are just mere excuses)
2#. Tell yourself again and again: "If this man loves you, he should respect you instead of knowingly two timing you".
3#. His words will not change your situation. You are not even 'waiting' for anything. Refer to rule number 1.
4#. The best and fastest way to forget him is to cut contacts (Physically first, emotionally comes later). I'm going to expand on this because I know it's easier said than done. But
trust me, if you do it now it is the FASTEST way to forget him. Timeline is: 2 - 3 weeks and you will be on the borderline of being normal, slowly picking up. 2 months later you will be glad you did this.
5#. Know that if he really loves you, he will look for you - without the baggage and the wedding ring this time. Otherwise, you would've saved so much time, some pride and some heartbreak.
6#. Start being active in your life - take dance lessons/classes or something. Meet up with your friends and use those friends as your 'support group'.
7#. Start dating again. You and I both know you'd rather sleep on the couch than merely having the thoughts of dating someone you don't love. You are still attached to that married man of course. But! At the very least this should distract you from being so attached to this married man.
One word of caution though: Do not fall into a rebound relationship - dating is good, but don't lead them on too much if you don't intend to love them...if you know what I mean.
In time, you will seriously find a better love, someone who you can tell the whole world: he is yours. And most importantly, someone who wants to be with you full time.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
She didn't like him at first and no matter what excuse she threw to herself, it's nothing to do with how or why it started. It was more like..."hey I'm stuck Now".
What's worse is that he looked better in her eyes as days go by, and she started to tolerate a lot more things (no gifts for her birthday, lonely christmas and holiday times, splitting the bill or picking up his bills, lonely weekends etc). She didn't see him for who he was: a cheating husband.
He put up with every single one of the traditional married man excuse such as 'It's hard to just leave my marriage', 'if I easily leave my current marriage you will think bad of me -
but I'll do it sometime since you're so special'...'I'm not in love with my wife..we're heading for separation Soon'...etc.
After 2 more years she started to regain a little of her brain consciousness. She started to realise that he was a married man, a cheating husband! Even so, she couldn't let go of him because she thought he loved her to the max. He even let her believe that she was her soulmate and more sweet words started to come out of his mouth.
So she decided to be her 'friend' and didn't want to take things further than that. Oh come on, she didn't think he could even think straight in the first place...
Finally, she took all her courage together, bought a few of the break up books available on the market "It's called a break up because it's broken by Greg and
Amiira Behrendt"), silently making a plan in her head to stop having a relationship with a married man.
She knew that even if losing him would cause a pain so great, staying with him was wasting her heart, emotion, and time. So she had to do what's good and she had to get out of it altogether.
Okay, let me share what she did and what steps you can take to stop dealing with a cheating husband and stop dating a married man:
1#. Tell him "Action speaks louder than words" and if he loves you he should want to make you happy. You are clearly not happy being stuck in a limbo state and he really should be willing to meet your needs. (If he cannot adhere to that, you know his words are just mere excuses)
2#. Tell yourself again and again: "If this man loves you, he should respect you instead of knowingly two timing you".
3#. His words will not change your situation. You are not even 'waiting' for anything. Refer to rule number 1.
4#. The best and fastest way to forget him is to cut contacts (Physically first, emotionally comes later). I'm going to expand on this because I know it's easier said than done. But
trust me, if you do it now it is the FASTEST way to forget him. Timeline is: 2 - 3 weeks and you will be on the borderline of being normal, slowly picking up. 2 months later you will be glad you did this.
5#. Know that if he really loves you, he will look for you - without the baggage and the wedding ring this time. Otherwise, you would've saved so much time, some pride and some heartbreak.
6#. Start being active in your life - take dance lessons/classes or something. Meet up with your friends and use those friends as your 'support group'.
7#. Start dating again. You and I both know you'd rather sleep on the couch than merely having the thoughts of dating someone you don't love. You are still attached to that married man of course. But! At the very least this should distract you from being so attached to this married man.
One word of caution though: Do not fall into a rebound relationship - dating is good, but don't lead them on too much if you don't intend to love them...if you know what I mean.
In time, you will seriously find a better love, someone who you can tell the whole world: he is yours. And most importantly, someone who wants to be with you full time.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Why Women Stay With Men Who Cheat
Many people find it hard to understand why a woman would choose to stay in a marriage or a relationship with a man who has cheated on her, or who has a history of extramarital affairs.
Yet there are millions of women, who for various reasons, have chosen to stay with a cheating mate.
Reasons Women Stay with Cheating Men
Listed below are a few of the reasons why women choose to stay with a cheating spouse or significant other:
1#. Love
2#. Convenience
3#. Financial reasons
4#. Not willing to give up lifestyle
5#. Insufficient proof of infidelity
6#. For the sake of the children
7#. Fear of change
8#. Low self esteem
9#. Bad timing
10#. Thinking the cheater will change
11#. To achieve career goals
12#. Hoping counseling will help
13#. Fear of being alone
14#. Loyalty
15#. Religious beliefs
16#. Desire to keep the family intact
17#. Belief that it won’t happen again
These are not the only reasons women remain in relationships with cheaters. There are other reasons, too -- reasons that make sense only to the woman involved.
A Woman Shouldn’t Have to Explain
Having been a victim of infidelity myself, I feel that a woman should never have to explain or defend her decision to anyone (other than her children) as to why she has chosen to leave or to stay with a man who cheats.
Choosing to leave, or to stay with a cheating spouse or significant other is a very personal matter. Some women will make a spur the moment decision the minute they find out about the affair. And many times they may regret their choice. For other women, whether to stay or leave is a carefully thought-out decision in which many factors have been taken into consideration.
Well-wishing friends and family members are quick to tell w woman what they think she should do if her husband or boyfriend is having an affair. But it’s up to the woman to decide for herself what’s in her (and her children’s) best interests at the time. She is the one who has to live with the decision that’s made.
What Not to Do When a Husband Cheats
While making the right decision is of the utmost importance, it’s more important to know what NOT to do.
Many women react blindly when they first find out about the affair. They let fear, anger, hurt, or a desire for revenge cause them to do things they may later regret.
Regardless of whether a woman ultimately decides to stay with the cheater or leave him, doing the wrong thing in the initial stages of discovery can actually make a bad situation worse. Rather than making a hasty, spur-of-the-moment decision, it’s best to take time to carefully think things through. It’s important for her to avoid making a mistake that can sabotage the course of action she eventually decides to take.
For some women, staying is the right decision. For other women, the right decision may be to leave. Each woman must make her own choice. The most.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Yet there are millions of women, who for various reasons, have chosen to stay with a cheating mate.
Reasons Women Stay with Cheating Men
Listed below are a few of the reasons why women choose to stay with a cheating spouse or significant other:
1#. Love
2#. Convenience
3#. Financial reasons
4#. Not willing to give up lifestyle
5#. Insufficient proof of infidelity
6#. For the sake of the children
7#. Fear of change
8#. Low self esteem
9#. Bad timing
10#. Thinking the cheater will change
11#. To achieve career goals
12#. Hoping counseling will help
13#. Fear of being alone
14#. Loyalty
15#. Religious beliefs
16#. Desire to keep the family intact
17#. Belief that it won’t happen again
These are not the only reasons women remain in relationships with cheaters. There are other reasons, too -- reasons that make sense only to the woman involved.
A Woman Shouldn’t Have to Explain
Having been a victim of infidelity myself, I feel that a woman should never have to explain or defend her decision to anyone (other than her children) as to why she has chosen to leave or to stay with a man who cheats.
Choosing to leave, or to stay with a cheating spouse or significant other is a very personal matter. Some women will make a spur the moment decision the minute they find out about the affair. And many times they may regret their choice. For other women, whether to stay or leave is a carefully thought-out decision in which many factors have been taken into consideration.
Well-wishing friends and family members are quick to tell w woman what they think she should do if her husband or boyfriend is having an affair. But it’s up to the woman to decide for herself what’s in her (and her children’s) best interests at the time. She is the one who has to live with the decision that’s made.
What Not to Do When a Husband Cheats
While making the right decision is of the utmost importance, it’s more important to know what NOT to do.
Many women react blindly when they first find out about the affair. They let fear, anger, hurt, or a desire for revenge cause them to do things they may later regret.
Regardless of whether a woman ultimately decides to stay with the cheater or leave him, doing the wrong thing in the initial stages of discovery can actually make a bad situation worse. Rather than making a hasty, spur-of-the-moment decision, it’s best to take time to carefully think things through. It’s important for her to avoid making a mistake that can sabotage the course of action she eventually decides to take.
For some women, staying is the right decision. For other women, the right decision may be to leave. Each woman must make her own choice. The most.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
The Top 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat
The reason as to why men cheat on women is an age-old question. The reasons why men cheat on women can be varied. Nevertheless, we have compiled a list of the top 10 reasons why both married and unmarried men cheat. Sometimes their reasons don’t even involve you and it’s simply an ego-based decision. Other times, reasons why men cheat can involve you and your relationship, or lack thereof.
Then, why do some men cheat in relationships? Almost all men know that cheating is wrong, yet many they still do it. Men will blame their reasons for cheating on their genes and their necessity to reproduce. However, aren’t we suppose to be further evolved than a chimp? Shouldn’t we be able to control our bodies through our minds and conscious decisions? Apparently not always.
The following are the top 10 reasons why men cheat.
1#. Because they had the option. The old saying “men are only as faithful as their options” can sometimes ring true. Men don’t get offered sex as often as women so when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down.
2#. It boosts their ego. Sometimes men no longer feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex and when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may allow her to stroke his ego and more. There is nothing like the thrill of the chase to men on the hunt. When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.
3#. You grow apart. Maybe the two of you didn’t have as much in common as you thought. He’s met a woman who has more in common with him who loves football or plays golf. He may check out if he is compatible with her under the sheets also.
4#. You argue a lot. Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly on them about something.
5#. They have fallen out of love. Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out elsewhere. In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.
6#. Your sex life stinks. If a man has a disinterested partner or isn’t getting enough sex to fulfill him, there is a good chance he will have an affair. Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop trying. It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from becoming boring and non-existent. Some men cheat because they want to try new sexual things that their current partner will not try.
7#. To get revenge. A man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him. How else is he supposed to heal those hurt feelings of his but through good old fashioned sex?
8#. It’s new, different and exciting. Some men get tired of having steak for dinner every night and want to try a hamburger. The same goes for sex with a woman. That’s why men don’t necessarily always cheat with women who are more attractive than their partners.
9#. To see if they can get away with it. If a man has the attitude of “what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” he may cheat to see if he is sneaky and smart enough to get away with it. However, with all the advancement in surveillance spy ware, getting caught has now become easier than ever.
10#. Because you have allowed it in the past. If you have forgiven a cheating man a couple of times, they are more than likely going to cheat again because they already know if they plead enough, you will forgive them.
Reasons why men cheat can be more complex than the above list or even be a combination of a few different reasons. Nevertheless, no reason is good enough reason to lie and be dishonest.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for
everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
Then, why do some men cheat in relationships? Almost all men know that cheating is wrong, yet many they still do it. Men will blame their reasons for cheating on their genes and their necessity to reproduce. However, aren’t we suppose to be further evolved than a chimp? Shouldn’t we be able to control our bodies through our minds and conscious decisions? Apparently not always.
The following are the top 10 reasons why men cheat.
1#. Because they had the option. The old saying “men are only as faithful as their options” can sometimes ring true. Men don’t get offered sex as often as women so when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down.
2#. It boosts their ego. Sometimes men no longer feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex and when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may allow her to stroke his ego and more. There is nothing like the thrill of the chase to men on the hunt. When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.
3#. You grow apart. Maybe the two of you didn’t have as much in common as you thought. He’s met a woman who has more in common with him who loves football or plays golf. He may check out if he is compatible with her under the sheets also.
4#. You argue a lot. Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly on them about something.
5#. They have fallen out of love. Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out elsewhere. In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.
6#. Your sex life stinks. If a man has a disinterested partner or isn’t getting enough sex to fulfill him, there is a good chance he will have an affair. Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop trying. It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from becoming boring and non-existent. Some men cheat because they want to try new sexual things that their current partner will not try.
7#. To get revenge. A man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him. How else is he supposed to heal those hurt feelings of his but through good old fashioned sex?
8#. It’s new, different and exciting. Some men get tired of having steak for dinner every night and want to try a hamburger. The same goes for sex with a woman. That’s why men don’t necessarily always cheat with women who are more attractive than their partners.
9#. To see if they can get away with it. If a man has the attitude of “what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” he may cheat to see if he is sneaky and smart enough to get away with it. However, with all the advancement in surveillance spy ware, getting caught has now become easier than ever.
10#. Because you have allowed it in the past. If you have forgiven a cheating man a couple of times, they are more than likely going to cheat again because they already know if they plead enough, you will forgive them.
Reasons why men cheat can be more complex than the above list or even be a combination of a few different reasons. Nevertheless, no reason is good enough reason to lie and be dishonest.
I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for
everyone.
Best of luck in life and love!
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