Sunday, March 22, 2009

Does He Want A Relationship? How Do I Know...

This post has several simple and easy to use tips to quickly help you turn around the relationship problems you're having, or get your new but uncertain relationship started off right.

If you feel "stuck" and he doesn't seem to be feeling it for you the way he used to... and just talking and opening up has become a problem between you two and creates more "drama" than it does help you connect- don't keep doing the things that have caused him to withdraw in the first place.

If you'd like a shortcut to the quickest way to get the passion back to where your guy can't help but be affectionate and is wild about spending time alone with you...

Then the quickest way to make him feel this way again, and avoid frustrating arguments that end up nowhere... is to learn the secrets to making a man feel so attracted to you that he'll have to keep you close and connected in your relationship now and in the future.

Learn how to create this kind of attraction right. Well, I want to answer an important question about men and relationships that women ask me all the time.

The answer may surprise you when it comes to what really works to turn around a "troubled” relationship that feels like it's going nowhere and quickly recapture that "spark."Here goes...Question-

"How do I figure out where my relationship is going... and how do I know what he wants and if he feels the same way I do?"

If I had a nickel for every woman who asked this question. Let me put this in perspective for you...

The very best situation to be in if you're starting a new relationship is to have a man so clearly feeling attracted to you that he’s the one who wants to make plans to be with you all the time.

Of course, this involves more than just the plain old physical attraction a man can feel for lots of "attractive" women.

As a woman, you might already get how "easy” Physical Attraction is for a man to feel. ...and how a man can and will be with a woman not because he really likes or loves her... but because he has a strong desire to be physically intimate with her.

It's never a bad thing if a man has this kind of raw passion and desire for you.
But... There has to be something more than him feeling a strong physical desire to be with you if want things to turn into a real relationship.And this is where way too many women make their first mistake with a man-

I call this mistake "The Danger Of A Connection."This is mistaking the Physical Attraction a man feels with you... and the affection, compliments, and "quality time" a man will spend with you as a signal of his desire for a relationship.

When he's simply enjoying the connection you feel. With a man, a great connection does not mean he wants or feels that "relationship feeling" with you-
Even though for lots of women, these things are one in the same. Here's the reality when it comes to men...

A man can share an amazing "connection" with you that is truly intimate and caring, and he can open his heart and mind and body to you very very quickly if he's "feeling it" for you.

But unless he feels a deeper level of interest for you that goes beyond physical attraction... than no matter how much you do or share together, he’s not going to start having the desire to have a real relationship with you.

Instead, he'll simply have one of those "this is good for now" relationships.If you're the kind of woman who wants a man to cherish you, appreciate you, and want to be with you and only you... then this isn't the kind of "connection" and relationship you want.

So to answer the question directly, "How do I know where my relationship is going?"... I’ll tell you-

You know where it's going by creating the feelings inside a man that make him crave being with you... To the point that he can't help but want more.

And when you're doing the things that make a man get out of his "logical brain" that tells him that he should be cautious and careful about a woman and committing to a relationship...

And you get him into his heart where he starts listening to his feelings for you and allowing them to make his decisions about what he wants with you and your relationship...

Only then will you quickly move past any resistance a man might have to moving into a real relationship with you.

And what's more, you'll get to avoid the dreaded uncertain and on again/off again relationship where a man just isn't sure what he wants with you.

"If a man doesn't know what he wants, he doesn't want what he's got."
ok, but what does it really mean that if a man doesn't know what he wants, he doesn't wan what he's got?

It means that if you get that awful uncertain feeling from a man where he doesn't seem to know(or care) about where your relationship is going, then he isn't emotionally engaged in your relationship, and there's no amount of talking or pleading or convincing that will make him feel or act differently.

You can't talk a man into wanting something he isn't already feeling - although lots of women make the fatal mistake of trying to convince a man to "get with it" and commit on a deeper level to the relationships.
Too bad that it just doesn't work this way.
And, in fact... if you try to convince a man of the value of your relationship, or your love, or tell him how he should feel... it will completely backfire.

And he'll feel the opposite of attraction for you. He’ll feel repelled by you... and he'll
resist everything about your relationship and the future.

In other words... the answer to knowing where your relationship is going in a man's mind isn't something to look for and find through words and talking to him.

This isn't the language most men speak when it comes to love, relationships, and how they are feeling.

You can tell much much more by a man's actions. His actions don't lie. Why? Well, it's simple but powerful and important once you learn how it works-

A man's actions are ruled by the way he feels. Whatever he feels drives him to act.

So whenever you do something, whenever you say something, or whenever you have a specific feeling or emotion of your own... a man will have a feeling of his own in response to you.

And that feeling in response will drive him to act a certain way.
Here are a few key areas or situations to think about in terms of how the man in your life feels with you, and how he responds:

When he's around you on a day to day basis-When you want to talk about your relationship.When you feel an intense emotion and communicate and share it with him

When he's away from you and sees how you react and respond in his absence
When you're upset or frustrated-When he doesn't seem to listen or respond to you So let me ask you...How does the man in your life feel when he's around you?

Do you share a fun, carefree, loving connection where he feels stronger, more empowered, and more free to pursue his goals and dreams because of you and how you are with him?

Or does he feel restricted, limited, held back, and like a relationship with you will make it harder to live his life and achieve his purpose?

And... since you can tell more about a man from his actions than what he might or might not say... how does he respond to you in these situations?
I want you to think about something very carefully right now that every mature woman discovers at some point in her life when it comes to the way she communicates and interacts in relationships-

The response you get from a man is largely determined by what you say and what you do.Or as others have put it before- "Communication is the response you get."
Meaning... the only measure of how well you Communicate in your relationship is the result of how the other person responds. (Him)

Nothing else really matters... if you're intent on truly being heard and creating a deep level of understanding between you and a man.

But too many women don't have the patience, think or feel like this takes too much "work", or just can't keep their composure and share their feelings and emotions in a way that doesn't just serve to push a man away.

Becoming frustrated when a man doesn't "get it” and blaming him for not understanding you is a sure fire way to end up putting more distance between you and a man - permanently.

The more you ask yourself the question of "How can I make him get it?"... the more you're going to hold on to the mindset that isn't working for you and stay stuck and frustrated with the way things are now.

There's a little secret to the way our minds work. And part of that secret is this-
Whatever questions we put into our minds, our minds will constantly be trying to find a way to work out the answer for us.

Here's the problem with this... People are constantly asking themselves the wrong questions... or questions that only lead to more problems and questions.
In other words... the questions you ask yourself have everything to do with the kind of answers you get back from your mind, and from the world around you.

Most women who are uncertain about their relationships and don't know where things are headed ask themselves questions such as:

a) "Why isn't he interested in talking and moving our relationship forward?"

b) "How come he's afraid of committing?"

c) "Why didn't he call me?"

If you look at all 3 of these questions, which are ones I hear women ask all the time, you’ll notice that there's something similar going on inside all of these questions-

These questions all come from a "negative" belief that something is wrong, and are asking not how to do something right... but instead
focus on what's going wrong.
The question you ask yourself not only determines where your "energy", attention, and focus go...

But the more you pay attention to them, the more you’ll start to see that they actually share the way you see the world... and the way the world looks back and responds to you.

Men included. The right questions to ask instead would be:

1) "How does it work for a man to want to move a
relationship forward, and what can I do to help
this happen?"

2) "What does it take for a man to commit?"

3) "Why do some men constantly communicate and
share with the women in their lives... and how
do I create this in my relationship?"

Now you're on the right track. I think you're starting to see the difference,
and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
If you're looking to find out what it really takes to make a man feel that intense attraction for you that goes beyond Physical Attraction...

And reaches inside him to a deeper emotional level that allows him to truly connect with you and experience what it takes for him to know that you’re the kind of woman he wants to be with now and in the future... and who he is ready and willing to commit to, then there's something you need to remember-

What a man does (his actions) are determined by the way he feels.
And if a man feels a deep level of attraction for you, then his actions will instantly reflect this in his openness to give and share his love with you... and to move into a more serious and lasting relationship.

But if you make the common mistakes lots of women make such as trying to convince a man to feel more or want more with you... you'll only make things worse and have him withdraw even further.

I want to help make sure you avoid the common mistakes women make in trying to build a deeper connection and relationship with a man that accidentally turn a man off instead.

"Convincing" is just one of several "strategies” that is sure to fail with even a great guy. There’s a better way...

To learn exactly what you can start doing to make the man in your life quickly start feeling and experiencing this deep gut-level attraction for you, no matter what was happening before...learn all about the attraction secrets that work with men in relationships.
You can learn my foundational tips, insights, and get to the bottom of what's going on inside the mind of a man by putting them into practice.

I will talk to you again soon.
Keep on Dating There is someone out there for
Best of luck in life and love!

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