Saturday, September 18, 2010

Why on Earth would Woman opt to stay in a disrespectful, fearful relationship?

Yes, I'm sure you do love him - at least the 'good side' of him. But what else is there to your love? Does he not make you feel embarrassed by his control and power over you by his direct disrespect for you? Even if it was 'love' you felt for him and not the flattery of 'his needing you' the funny thing that you don't realize is that you can love someone and not be with them. It is sooooo possible.

Of course leaving is a very difficult thing to do. The only time we really consider it is in the very throes of the abuse the moment when we would leave barefoot and naked in the middle of a blizzard if need be. But then things calm down for a moment in time. The promises and remorse starts.

The logic starts running through your head. Then the excuses - the fear, "Why leave? He'll just hunt me down and kill me." Doubtful. He may threaten, because threats have proven to be so successful in controlling you in the past. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Call the police.

You can relocate, you can get protection, you can 'call him' on his suicide threat. Take my word for it, he won't start systematically 'knocking off members of your family' until you return to him. Gee! "I can't leave him. I'm the only one that understands him. I feel so sorry for him. He really doesn't want to be this way." You feel sorry for him? You mean like you feel sorry for those little, innocent children dying in the hospital? Like you feel for the parents who are watching them die? THAT'S something to feel sorry about.

Not an adult man who opts to revisit his pain over and over again, heaping it all on you, instead of being brave enough to face it head-on and take direct responsibility for it.

Not someone who can charmingly smile and say good-bye to house guests, then turn around and punch you the minute they pull out of the driveway. Part of this man's hook is his 'childlike hurt'. "Life is so good when he isn't abusing, I couldn't ask for a better man." Couldn't you?

Yes, the hardest thing you may ever have to do is to find the courage to leave. You can leave, and you can make it on your own. Your situation isn't any different than many others you may think it is special, but it's not. Just look at mine no car, no driver's license, no money, no help from anyone, four kids, systemic lupus, emphysema, and MS.If someone in your situation can do it then most assuredly, you can, too.

And stop thinking that if you somehow 'change' the abuse will stop. You mean that if you can go through the rest of your 'one-and-only' life without ever burning a meal again, that everything will be honky-dory? You don't really believe that, do you? You don't need to change he does.

You can have the very best man and have the most wonderful marriage without the high cost. Believe me!
Whether emotional, verbal, mental, physical, or a combination of all - abuse wears you down. You go from a happy, care-free woman (remember those days before him) to days of consuming feelings of resentment, anger, depression and growing insecurity. When you look into the mirror you see a shell of a person, with no life left in their eyes.

Go right now and look in the mirror you'll be surprised to see the 'life' is no longer there. You are empty. Hollow. This relationship is not making you a 'whole' person, it is making you a 'worthless of a woman'.Is that what you prefer in your love life?

What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious? Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you? Are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to your love life. Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you HOW,WHEN,AND WHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and the man in your love life.

I will talk to ya again soon.
Keep on Dating!There is someone out there for everyone.
Best of luck in love and life!

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