Thursday, January 14, 2010

Five Reasons A Man Falls Out Of Love & Leaves

Welcome,What is going on with your boyfriend when you know he has got strong feelings for you, but he is dragging his feet on committing? There are specific reasons why a man will make the conscious decision to commit to a woman or not.
Those reasons often have little or nothing to do with:a) How long you've been together (b). What everyone else, including you, thinks he "should do" (c). How much you've "invested" in the relationship.

A man will want to commit to you simply because of the way you make him feel.
If he feels that his life will be better with you in it, than without you, he will want to commit to you.But if he is unsure about the future of your relationship because of some lingering doubts in his mind, based on what is happening or not happening in your relationship, then you're already fighting an uphill battle.

Fortunately, there is a way for you to know exactly what to do and say to make sure he is not doubting your relationship. You have the power to make him feel utterly devoted and committed to you.It just takes knowing the secret to what a man is "commitment tempo" is and what it takes for him to want you, and only you, for life.

Well,now let's talk about the reasons why men often leave relationships.

$$$$ Reader's E-mail $$$$

Thanks a lot for being there for us,I have been seeing my boyfriend for a year and
a half and we have a great relationship on all levels intellectually, physically, etc.However unfortunately we have been 'head-bashing' over a certain problem that keeps resurfacing in our relationship and now it has literally come to a point where he wants "time out". I have a problem trusting him and want to always control situations. I have constantly been giving him nonsense when he socializes with his female friends, and have an insecurity that he will leave me. It has been very strenuous on him and he actually told me this morning that he wants to be with me but he no longer knows what to do and wants time out of this relationship...

I finally did something right today when speaking to him after reading some of your blog post, I just listened and said that I understood. He said we will discuss it further this evening. I am so lost!!! I don't know what to do to fix this now, and am not sure if this can be "fixable". I Really Love him and he loves me, but it has been carrying on for so long he doesn't want to hear excuses anymore.

Please I need your Help now. What can I do to make this work? I will be forever grateful for your response and save me from this dilemma!

$$$ My Reply $$$$

Well, I'm going to have to lay it on the line for you because you're doing one of the worst things you can do: You're using your Fear and Neediness to justify feeling hurt and pushing your guy away.Imagine if you were to slap yourself silly,
then turn to him and cry and freak out and then blame him for making you do it.
And when he responds by saying, But you just slapped yourself, you go ahead and get even more upset, and act even more emotional, and then wonder, "What did I do to make him doubt our future together? What you're doing has roughly the same effect on your boyfriend as your current thinking and behavior.

Follow me here?

You have to find a way to get this jealousy and fear under control, because no matter how good your relationship with a man might be, or how much reassurance you get from him, it will never be enough for you because your mind will find a way to freak you out.Those negative feelings will keep coming up and driving him away each and every time.

Ask yourself a few important questions:How are all your negative emotions, fears and frustrations affecting the man in your life?

How does it make him think about you, your relationship and future together?

What thoughts and feelings would he share with you if he wasn't afraid of you freaking out?

Take my hint; Being able to listen and understand a man without immediately jumping to conclusions,criticizing or freaking out goes a long way towards creating a strong relationship that meets both your needs.The good news is that your situation isn't hopeless or un-fixable.But there are a few important truths about why men leave relationships with women they really like, or even love, that you need to know.

Reason $1). Why men leave relationships: The Pleasure Principle

Men and women want to feel good in their lives and in their relationships.If you're constantly freaking out on a man about something he?s doing or saying, you're quickly turning into a person who isn't fun to be around.He just won't feel that good around you.This has a huge impact on whether or not he'll want to invest more time and energy into you and your relationship.Or, if he'll decide to give up on trying to fix what?s going on so you can both feel good together.

Reason $2). Why men leave relationships: Emotional Experience and the Future

The way a woman acts in "little" situations become indicators to a man about how she'll respond when things really get tough in the future.So if a woman is constantly emotional or negative, even when a man does what he can to "reassure" her... he isn't going to believe things will get better the longer he's with her.He is going to feel as if he has to "walk on eggshells" around you, and that doesn't make anyone feel good about staying in a relationship.

Reason $3). Why men leave relationships: Lost Feelings of Attraction

Sure, love is important to a man.But experiencing those addicting and exciting feelings of connection and attraction with the woman he loves are just as important. Because when a man feels attraction and love,working out the little problems is a piece of cake.When he stops feeling that connection, he'll forget why he?s with you in the first place, and the relationship will start to feel like a whole bunch of "work" to him.

By the way, trying to "fix" things by talking about working on "the relationship" is a big mistake. A man wants to do fun and enjoyable things together not talk to know it's working.Sometimes a man will say he cares about you,or maybe even loves you, but he'll admit he?s not "in love" with you.If you've ever heard that from your man, it?s a symptom that he?s not feeling that gut-level of attraction for you, despite having affectionate feelings for you.

Creating that gut-level of attraction and sharing that attraction is one of the most powerful and important keys to giving a man his own reason for wanting to be with you, no matter what.I'm not talking about physical attraction,either.I'm talking about the emotional and intellectual attraction that comes from a deeper,more subconscious place.

Reason $4). Why men leave relationships: Neediness!!!

A man wants to be with a woman who brings something better to his life, not take away his time, energy and emotional "stability."So when a woman doesn't have much going on for herself or her life BESIDES the relationship,it's a big red flag to the man.It tells him she focuses too much on the relationship as the source of her happiness.

She stops hanging out with her friends as much, she stops focusing on her own interests or hobbies and she feels "controlled" by the relationship in some way.This not only looks "needy" to a man, but he realizes she isn't bringing a lot into the relationship on her own.

How can you tell you're guilty of this? Have you ever said this to yourself after a
break-up:"I can't believe how I lost touch with my friends while I was with that guy." "I can't believe I let him control me like that." "Where did my life go?" "What happened to the real me? I wasted so much time in that relationship, when I could have been doing things for myself or my future."

The reality is that no man and no relationship can or should be everything to you.You shouldn't have to sacrifice all your time and energy on a man.And the point is, he doesn't want you to. At least, no mature, "together" man will want you to.Controlling, psychotic men? Well, that is another story.

Reason $5). Why men leave relationships: "She's Trying to Fix Me"

A man can and will change and compromise for a woman. It's a fact.I see it all the time when men let go of their "bachelor lifestyles" for one special woman.But a man has to have his own reasons to change. A lot of women try to change a man by
showing him how it will affect them as a couple,not him alone.

People are motivated by things they want, not by things others want. If you want a man to change, you have to try to show him how it will benefit him and him alone, not you or your relationship.Just remember, if a man is deeply committed to you and your relationship and he isn't feeling or experiencing too many of the above "reasons" for leaving, then any issues you have will feel like small bumps in the road to him.He'll be confident, open, and secure about working things out with you.

One more quick question;What's your biggest frustration with men, relationships and dating? Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep their attention and interest as soon as things start to get serious?

Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend about commitment, because you've been together a long time now and he isn’t bringing it up on his own? Are you worried that the man you're with will cheat on you?

I actually put together a list of "Top ten "questions that I most commonly get from women like you, who are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to their love lives.Find out what to do in each of these situations, and see if your specific relationship or dating is worth you think it should be.

Sadly, many women will go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love and connection with a man they care about. I don't want you to be one of them. This blog will show you exactly how to find the love you’ve been waiting your whole life to find and do it in a way that will make you feel good inside because you'll know that you're giving yourself and a man what you both Really want an attractive, happy, and together woman. I personally guarantee it.

I will talk to you again soon.Keep on Dating There is someone out there for
everyone.Best of luck in love and life!

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