Thursday, February 19, 2009

Why Men Pull Away From Some Women But Not From Others ?

When someone we care about rejects our efforts to become closer to them, it’s not a fun feeling. But an even worse feeling than that is not knowing why. 

Of course, the men in these situations are rarely any help. They will usually try to explain themselves by saying dumb things like. It's not you, it's me. Or another predictable male excuse such as, I'm just not ready for a serious relationship.

I know this very well because I've been “that guy” in the past…
I’ve been the guy who withdraws… the kind who spontaneously gets “scared” when a relationship gets close and intimate… and the kind of guy that can make a real, close, loving, lasting relationship seem impossible.

I’ll admit it. I know all about “that guy”… because that guy has been me.

But let me let you in on a couple of secrets… the first of which you might already know:

The “excuses” I mentioned above, and all of the rest of the common “man excuses are a bunch of b.s.

Deep down, 99% of all men are ready for a relationship… and would love to find that special woman… someone with whom they could finally let their guard down, and experience true love.

Trust me on this one. I’ve known more than a few “players”… and while some men will date several women at once, it’s only because they haven’t met the one they are really looking for.

In fact… over the years I’ve seen every one of these guys bring their playing to a screeching halt when they met someone they were really into. I’m sure you’ve seen this happen with guys you know…

I’m also embarrassed to admit it, but I’ve actually said both of the “excuses” I mentioned above on more than one occasion… and after the perspective I’ve gained from years of understanding myself and other men, I finally realized that I never actually meant it when I said it… and neither do other men.

You know what I’m talking about here from experience… When a man says one thing, but you intuitively know it’s another… but he can never see it for himself, no matter how hard you try and show or convince him.

The reality is that I, and most other men, have never pulled away from a woman because I wasn’t “ready for a relationship”… or because I “got nervous” or “wanted to take things slow”… although that’s all we could see to understand about ourselves and communicate at the time.

A female friend of mine recently had the unfortunate experience of having a man pull away from her because he “wasn’t ready for something serious”… only to jump into a serious relationship with another woman just a few weeks later. 

Hmm!! So why do men pull away from certain women… but fall head over heels for others? Let me let you in on another little secret.


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