Saturday, April 26, 2008

Every Woman Should Know What Attracts Mr. Right Online And What Turns Him Away…

Welcome My Readers,

Today let me start by asking you this question…
If you had 7 seconds in front of a great guy who was single and attractive and you wanted to get his interest and attention, what would you say?

What if you only had 15 words to do this? What would you write?

Unfortunately, when it comes to meeting and attracting a great guy online… this is exactly where most women get stuck.

Let me be very direct here…

The single most important “skill” you can have for meeting a man and getting the right kind of situation started is knowing how to make a man feel attracted to you.

I’ve been talking about the importance of attraction, and how it really works, for years and years now… and I get that it can be frustrating enough just to figure out how to get a man’s attention and interest when you meet him in person.

That’s why for lots of women, trying to do the guess work of figuring out how to attract the right kind of man online when it seems like all you have is a picture, a profile, and email to work with… honestly turns lots of women off.

To them, online dating seems like a whole other world.

And in a way it is.

But here’s the thing…

The problem that keeps most women from being able to quickly meet and attract a great guy online has nothing to do with “online dating”. It’s that most women still, at a deeper level, don’t get how attraction works with a man.

The biggest mistake I see women making when it comes to online dating isn’t some “technique” - it’s that most women still don’t get how to create a strong level of attraction with each interaction they have with a man.

Instead of leading with attraction and using what works online with men, too many let their own “stuff” get in the way of the experience they could create with a man. And it’s this “stuff” that most women accidentally communicate to men that turns out to be exactly what turning a man away and is totally unattractive.
To give you some examples of what I’m talking about here, this kind of “stuff” that women do online usually includes:

* Talking or writing about what you’re worried and anxious about dating, meeting men, and how things are going to go for you. And doing this from very first moment a man comes into contact with you and your profile

*Focusing on what you don’t want and writing about it so it’s the first thing a man sees in your profile

* Rehashing old relationships and past pains and frustrations with men in your past subtly tells a man you’re emotionally insecure and off-balance, and that you blame men for this)

* Communicating about the kind of relationship you’re looking for in a way that makes you appear “needy” or “clingy”… to where a man will thinks that just talking to you or meeting you will be like landing on a sticky spider web from which he won’t be able to escape. (Yes – men pick up subtle things from women in the way they talk about relationships that they judge to mean whether she’s “easy-going” or terribly needy in a relationship)

And those are just a few of the most common ways that women accidentally communicate the wrong “stuff” and make men lose interest in them before the real conversation ever has a chance to get started.

Here’s something fascinating you should know…

I’ve found that over 75% of women are so busy in their minds with this negative “stuff” about what they don’t want, what’s wrong with other men, bad past relationships, or what they’re afraid of that they end up convincing most of the good men online that they’re not the kind of woman who is healthy and “relationship material” – even if they are.

And all it takes to have the right man get the wrong idea about you is for you to say just few of the wrong words that are unattractive to a man.

The point is… there’s something I want you to consider very carefully if you’re looking for the right man in your life and you’ve thought about online dating (or even tried it without success in the past)…

Online dating is a simple skill that’s easy to learn if you know how to communicate the right way.

For most women, instead of learning how to communicate and use online dating and the Internet to their advantage… too many women let the idea of “online dating” make them nervous, scared, or feel awkward. And when their own “stuff” accidentally comes out, men perceive them as either negative, unhealthy… or just plain unattractive and uninteresting.

Have you stopped to think about what the right man is actually thinking and feeling as he reads the profiles of most of the other women online who are looking for “the one”?

Think about it for a second…Now let us go on with our discussion…

As you probably already know, there’s a kind of magic “connecting power” to the Internet. And you have the opportunity at any moment to plug into that power and use it to your advantage.

But the amazing connecting power of the Internet and online dating can just as easily work against you if you don’t know how to use it… or you don’t know how to make a man feel attracted for you when you and he finally connect online.

In other words… if you’re communicating the wrong things online… then the power of the Internet and email will not only work against you – but it will zoom the mistakes you’re making and what you’re saying and doing wrong.

So now that you’re a little bit more “in the know”, let me share with you some quick tips and insights about how you can more easily attract the right man online…

If you think about it, there are several huge advantage you can enjoy online when you meet a man that you don’t get when you first meet a man in person.

The most important merits you have online with men are:

a).You have unlimited time to create a snapshot of your “best self” in your personal profile.

b).Your picture can speak a thousand words Good or Bad and you are completely in control of what you’re going to have it say about you This is an opportunity for “instant attraction” or chemistry in a man’s visually oriented mind. First impression always matters could be his first and last impression.

c).Online dating allows you and a man to quickly skip past the of chatting and going out a few times before you even talk about what you’re really looking for – and instead lets you start with “Here’s what I want… and here’s what I’m looking for.” But this only works for you if you know how to use this to your advantage and not make it work against you like it does for so many other women online.

d).Every man online is giving you tons of tips and insights into who they are, and how to communicate with them in a way that will make them see you as the right kind of woman for them. But you have to know how to read their profiles and e-mails to fully understand all the great information they are giving you…without their even knowing it.

Now, here’s the real question…

How could you put all these merits to work for you?

What I’ve learned is that one of the biggest problems women have is simply getting started with the basics in online dating and attracting the right man. See… lots of women don’t believe they know how to write up a great profile about themselves, who they are, and what they want.

And guess what?

They’re right!

Most women don’t do a great job at writing a profile that would actually attract the right man.

There aren’t many of us who like writing about how great we are. Let alone simply talking about it to others.

It’s really an awkward proposition. Especially when it comes to men, dating, and relationships and you’ve never even met the man who’s reading all about you.

But that’s where I can really help you make things simple and allow you to stand out from all the other women out there online looking for a real relationship.

Till next time, Keep On Dating There Is Someone Out There For Every One.

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